Co-worker: How much are you supposed to give when someone’s mom dies? Because all I have is a five.
300 N. Commons Boulevard
Mayfield, Ohio
Co-worker: How much are you supposed to give when someone’s mom dies? Because all I have is a five.
300 N. Commons Boulevard
Mayfield, Ohio
Woman: I’d like to pay my cell phone bill, but it’s in my son’s name and I don’t have the password to see it online. So, I need to know how much it is.
Employee: You can’t pay it without his authorization. I can’t tell you how much it is.
Woman: He can’t authorize anything, he’s incarcerated.
Employee: Well, we’ll need a copy of the obituary or the death certificate.
Woman: What? He’s incarcerated! [pause] He’s in jail.
Employee: Oh.
Frederick, Maryland
African-American co-worker: So, maybe you can help me out with this, are Italians black or Latino?
Italian-American co-worker: I’m white. Just white, man.
African American co-worker: Maybe you didn’t understand the question.
4800 University Drive
Durham, North Carolina
Cashier #1: Hey man, I think I might be gay.
Cashier #2: What’s wrong?
Cashier #1: I keep having fantasies about being with a man. What should I do?
Cashier #2: Jerk off. A lot. If you do it enough, it’ll get the gay out. It worked for me.
HEB Austin 15, North Lamar
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Jeff
Employee working on ad for customer: It says here that this sale won’t be repeated. But down in the corner, it says ‘Third annual.’
Ludlow Street
Dayton, Ohio
Overheard by: Chuckling To Myself
Office drone #1: What’s a funnier prank — if I tape the the receiver to the boss’s phone, or if I fix it so she can’t open the drawer?
Office drone #2: Um, maybe you should… [looks pointedly at returning boss behind drone #1].
Office drone #1: I know! I’ll glue her coffee mug to her desk. Bitch’ll be spewing!
Boss, standing right behind drone #1: Bitch is behind you.
Harris Street
Pyrmont, Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: get back to work!
Co-worker #1: So they made me change my password. The old one was really cool. “Sloth,” you know, like the animal.
Co-worker #2: There’s no such animal as a sloth. I think sloth is supposed to be like a sin or something.
1697 Broadway
New York, NY
Peon #1: He’s into that pooping and farting stuff now.
Peon #2: Who isn’t?!
St. Louis, Missouri
Female manager: So the guy said that's why they leave traps for mice, but not rats.
Female coworker: I thought mice grew up into rats.
St Petersburg, Florida
Assistant manager over speaker: Lesbian to the front please! Lesbian to the front register!
Eckerd Pharmacy Robin Hood Road
Norfolk, Virginia
Overheard by: But my name is Leslie….
