Assistant manager over speaker: Lesbian to the front please! Lesbian to the front register!
Eckerd Pharmacy Robin Hood Road
Norfolk, Virginia
Overheard by: But my name is Leslie….
Assistant manager over speaker: Lesbian to the front please! Lesbian to the front register!
Eckerd Pharmacy Robin Hood Road
Norfolk, Virginia
Overheard by: But my name is Leslie….
Accounting: I mean, I know how to use Excel. Just not for spreadsheets and stuff.
525 Rudder Road
Fenton, Missouri
Co-worker: I think from now on, I’m going to speak in the third person about myself, and I’ll call myself “Angry Chinese clam.” Angry Chinese clam is most displeased with your actions.
120 North La Salle
Chicago, Illinois
Co-worker: God, I’m horny. I shouldn’t have worn these tennis shoes.
610 Gateway Drive
North Sioux City, South Dakota
Boss: That lady is from Alabama. I used to visit there when I was a kid. It was only 20 to 30 minutes from my house.
Receptionist: … But you lived in Georgia.
Orange Park, Florida
Overheard by: Tristan
Cashier #1: What do you think of, you know, when people stick random Zs into words? Like, ‘For shizzle, my nizzle’?
Cashier #2: Man, I hate it when people do that. They sound like they ain’t got no speech.
8700 East 63rd Street
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: Jedusor
Account rep: Is this other elevator still broken?
Receptionist: Correct.
Account rep: But, but, isn’t that, like, a fire hazard?
Receptionist: Um, see those signs that say ‘In case of fire, do not use elevators’?
Account rep: Oh. Right.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: glad she’s not a firefighter
Customer pays with credit card featuring bear logo.
Employee, very curious: Oh, do you like bears?! [Customer looks quizzical while another employee laughs hysterically.]
Omaha, Nebraska
Tech support guy: So, your city is spelled C-A-M-B-R-I-D-G-E?
Office girl: Yes, that’s correct.
Tech support guy: And your state is M-A, for Miami, right?
Office girl: Um, well, yes — M-A is right…
1033 Mass Avenue
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Coworker: All the hot guys kill people! Well, at least the black ones.
Pecos and Sunset Road
Las Vegas, Nevada
