Blonde in scrubs: When people around me are sick and won’t stay home I’m not coming to work.
Redhead in scrub: You are a nurse.
Blonde in scrubs: I hate having sick people around me.
Redhead in scrubs: You are a nurse.
Blonde in scrubs: If a person is sick they should stay at home.
Redhead in scrubs: This is a hospital.
1100 Marshall Street
Little Rock, Arkansas
Disgruntled employee: I like my rage. I hold it close, like a really scratchy blanket. Or a blowfish.
Wausau, Wisconsin
Telephone salesperson: May I please speak to Eric Smith*?
Receptionist: He doesn’t work here any more, can I take a message?
Telephone salesperson: No, that’s okay, I’ll call him back.
1270 Broadway
New York, New York
Overheard by: Brian
Corporate peon: Did you get my message?
Field rep: No, did you leave one?
Corporate peon: Well… No.
909 Lake Carolyn Parkway
Irving, Texas
Overheard by: Bigness
Chick: Excuse me, do you know where I could find bedding?
Salesclerk with very heavy accent: Bedding suit?
Chick: No, not bathing suits — bedding.
Salesclerk: [Blank stare.]Chick: You know, pillowcases? Sheets?
Salesclerk: [Blank stare.]Chick: Never mind.
Saks Fifth Avenue
New York, New York
Angry customer: [Inaudible over phone.]Employee: I apologize, sir. I understand your frusteration.
Angry customer: Why do you keep calling me ‘sir’?
Employee: Oh! Ma’am. I apologize.
Scottsdale, Arizona
Mailroom worker: I can’t take him to the Christmas party — he oh beast!
Receptionist: He’s a beast? You mean he’s ugly?
Mailroom worker: No, he’s fat. Like really fat. He’s oh beast.
Floor 7, 9460 Wilshire Boulevard
Beverly Hills, California
Cashier #1 to customer: Have a good Easter.
Cashier #2: And have a Merry Christmas.
Cashier #1: Oh, shit.
Woolworth’s
Brisbane
Australia
Overheard by: Lydia the Great
Bimbo: I’m probably the most dyslexic you can get without actually being dyslexic.
Sydney, New South Wales
Australia
Overheard by: non-dyslexic
Employee #1: Yeah, she didn’t have the info I need yet, so I’ll have to circumvent with her later.
Employee #2: Circumvent? Do you mean circle back?
Employee #1: Circle back? That doesn’t make any fucking sense. Why do I always take the blunt of your jokes?
1025 Eldorado Boulevard
Broomfield, Colorado
