Dumb Employees

Customer: I’m looking for one of those things where I can plug it into my TV’s video and plug like four video game systems into it and push a button to switch between them.
Employee: Yeah, I don’t think we sell those.
Customer, picking up item: I’m looking for this.
Employee: Oh, we don’t sell those.
Customer: You… don’t… sell these?
Employee: No.
Customer: You’re sure?
Employee: Yeah, we definitely don’t sell those.
Customer: You don’t sell these? This thing that I picked up off your rack with a price tag on it?
Employee: No. Circuit City might carry them, though.

Best Buy
Astoria, New York

Employee #1: So how do we go about naming our aircraft?
Employee #2: Well, the Reserve has a plane named The Spirit of Ronald Reagan.
Employee #1: Who is that named after?
Boss: It’s named after the airport, I think.

The Pentagon
Arlington, Virginia

Customer: They’re three for $0.99.
Cashier: We don’t sell them at that price. They’re $0.33 each.

Big Lots Store #1906, 498 South Boulder Highway
Henderson, Nevada

Overheard by: Lee Hall

Girl: Hey, Pete*, are you feeling smart today?
Guy #1: Maybe, why?
Girl: Do you know if Korea is a separate country, or is it, like, part of China or Japan?
Guy #1: I have no idea. Why do you need to know?
Girl: I’m trying to look up UPS rates for Korea, but I can’t find Korea.
Guy #1: Troy*!
Guy #2: Yes?
Guy #1: Is Korea a separate country from China or Japan?
Guy #2: Yes.
Girl: OK, well, I can’t find it on the drop-down. Is it called something else?
Guy #2: Republic of Korea?
Girl: No.
Guy #2: South Korea?
Girl: Oh… OK, there it is!

Phoenix, Arizona

Employee #1: Blacks, blacks everywhere! Stupid blacks! I can’t do anything with them. They just take over.
Employee #2: Cletus*, quit playing solitaire and do some work.

Downtown
Missoula, Montana

Overheard by: non-profit ninja

Customer: Does this come in black?
Store clerk: Yes. [walks off]

Department store, Rockville Pike
Rockville, Maryland

Overheard by: Doctor Whom

Speaker on fax machine: Listen, you freakin’ idiot, this is the third time in five minutes you’re tryin’ to fax something to a phone number.
Employee in adjacent cubicle, two minutes later: Yeah, hi, this is the freakin’ idiot… [loud squelching]… shit, now I dialed their fax number.

Georgesville Road
Columbus, Ohio

Overheard by: laughing in next cubicle

Desk assistant: So what happens if we go on strike? Do we not come to work?

CBS Broadcast Center, 524 West 57th Street
New York, New York

Overheard by: This is the future of network news

Dumb girl: So if it is like 6 in California then it’s like 6:30 in Nevada, right?
Dumber girl: No, Nevada’s really close to Cali. It’s probably only like 6:15.

6397 Springfield Mall
Springfield, Virginia

Overheard by: marshamellow

Telephone customer: Hi, I need to find the international rates for calling to France.
Local phone operator: France? That’s in England, right?

55 Water Street
New York, New York

Overheard by: disbelief