African-American co-worker: So, maybe you can help me out with this, are Italians black or Latino?
Italian-American co-worker: I’m white. Just white, man.
African American co-worker: Maybe you didn’t understand the question.
4800 University Drive
Durham, North Carolina
Cashier #1: Hey man, I think I might be gay.
Cashier #2: What’s wrong?
Cashier #1: I keep having fantasies about being with a man. What should I do?
Cashier #2: Jerk off. A lot. If you do it enough, it’ll get the gay out. It worked for me.
HEB Austin 15, North Lamar
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Jeff
Employee working on ad for customer: It says here that this sale won’t be repeated. But down in the corner, it says ‘Third annual.’
Ludlow Street
Dayton, Ohio
Overheard by: Chuckling To Myself
Office drone #1: What’s a funnier prank — if I tape the the receiver to the boss’s phone, or if I fix it so she can’t open the drawer?
Office drone #2: Um, maybe you should… [looks pointedly at returning boss behind drone #1].
Office drone #1: I know! I’ll glue her coffee mug to her desk. Bitch’ll be spewing!
Boss, standing right behind drone #1: Bitch is behind you.
Harris Street
Pyrmont, Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: get back to work!
Co-worker #1: So they made me change my password. The old one was really cool. “Sloth,” you know, like the animal.
Co-worker #2: There’s no such animal as a sloth. I think sloth is supposed to be like a sin or something.
1697 Broadway
New York, NY
Peon #1: He’s into that pooping and farting stuff now.
Peon #2: Who isn’t?!
St. Louis, Missouri
Female manager: So the guy said that's why they leave traps for mice, but not rats.
Female coworker: I thought mice grew up into rats.
St Petersburg, Florida
Assistant manager over speaker: Lesbian to the front please! Lesbian to the front register!
Eckerd Pharmacy Robin Hood Road
Norfolk, Virginia
Overheard by: But my name is Leslie….
Accounting: I mean, I know how to use Excel. Just not for spreadsheets and stuff.
525 Rudder Road
Fenton, Missouri
Co-worker: I think from now on, I’m going to speak in the third person about myself, and I’ll call myself “Angry Chinese clam.” Angry Chinese clam is most displeased with your actions.
120 North La Salle
Chicago, Illinois
