Female bank teller to male customer with an open beer between his knees: I sure would like to have what's between your legs!
Dawson Springs, Kentucky
Overheard by: will1966
Female bank teller to male customer with an open beer between his knees: I sure would like to have what's between your legs!
Dawson Springs, Kentucky
Overheard by: will1966
Officer #1: Yeah, man, I'm not going to pull someone over for talking on their cell phone, because I talk on my cell phone while driving.
Officer #2: For sure, I ain't gonna pull someone over for speeding, cause I speed all over this place.
Officer #3: Right, why would I pull someone over for drunk driving, when I'm always drunk.
Ventura, California
Overheard by: Chatty McSailor Mouth
Secretary: I'm going out, does anyone want anything from Fordham road?
Coworker: Are you going past a liquor store?
Fordham University
The Bronx, New York
Flamboyant marketing director: In my opinion, prostitutes are great because they help my liver. Let me explain–it cuts the process in half. I don't have to waste my money buying drinks for guys at the bar that still might not sleep with me. So… in the end, my liver is healthier because of prostitutes.
Old lady assistant: Prosciutto is good for the liver? I'll put it in a salad!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Lowly Intern
Employee #1: Otis Redding.
Employee #2: Otis Redding? Who's that?
Employee #3: Isnt' that the guy from Andy Griffith? The drunk guy?
Employee #1: No. Otis Redding sang that “Dock of the Bay” song. His dad shot and killed him.
Employee #2: No. That's Marvin Gaye.
Employee #1: Marvin Gaye? Who's that?
Van Buren, Arkansas
Office goon #1: Girl, you were so drunk on Saturday night!
Office goon #2: No! I wasn't drunk…I was drugged!
Austin, Texas
Boss: Where have you been the past week?
Agent: I went fishing with friends.
Boss: Why?
Agent: I love fishing with friends, and I took a vacation.
Boss: Listen, I love fucking and drinking, but you don't see me taking a week off to do that.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Nicole
Grandmotherly woman #1: Then you sit the chicken down so that the open beer can goes up its ass.
Grandmotherly woman #2: Well, I sure hope it doesn't have hemorrhoids…
Middltown, Connectict
Overheard by: I just lost my appetite
Senior Vice President, about co-worker: She's stopped drinking. I told her she should drink more. Drunks are fun!
Fort Worth, Texas
Overheard by: bob
Dumb coworker: That's where I learned to speak Mexican.
Confused coworker: Huh?
Dumb coworker: When I was ordering a Dos Equis at the bar.
Owings Mills, Maryland
Overheard by: perturbed coworker
