Accountant: It’s snowed a ton, the roads are really bad today. They’ve closed a bunch of schools.
Receptionist: I hope they cancel my online class!
Washington Square
Lansing, Michigan
Overheard by: No level of stupidity surprises me anymore
Accountant: It’s snowed a ton, the roads are really bad today. They’ve closed a bunch of schools.
Receptionist: I hope they cancel my online class!
Washington Square
Lansing, Michigan
Overheard by: No level of stupidity surprises me anymore
20-something female cube rat: Sounds like a fucking stupid project, and I am really excited to do it some time.
Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Old drone #1: You really gotta just close your eyes and gulp it down, I find it spicy, although my daughter says it’s bitter.
Old drone #2: Yeah, I like it though, just don’t get any on your dress, it’s a bear to get out of clothes.
Cindel Drive
Delran, New Jersey
Overheard by: Bruce Banner
Red-faced, furious manager, gesticulating at mildly messy sales rack: This is a disaster! Everyone put everything everywhere!
Plymouth, Michigan
(Woman puts groceries on checkstand, including home pregnancy test.)
Male clerk: Man, I have been selling a lot of these lately!
(Woman laughs nervously.)
Male clerk to female clerk, waving test in the air: Haven’t you been selling a lot of these?
Female clerk: Yeah, I have! It must be spring, you know how people get!
(Woman is now horrified.)
Male clerk, handing woman her groceries: Well, good luck either way!
Safeway
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: Really? Really?
Manager, in a panic: We sent a box of sex toys to the wrong customer!
Employee #1: Where did it go?
Manager: Jamaica.
Employee #1: Wasn’t it supposed to go to Barbados?
Manager: Yeah…
Employee #2: Not my fault! You can’t blame me!
Miami, Florida
Extra nice granny: Good god, if they need more than three gallons of gravy we are in big trouble.
Montezuma
Prescott, Arizona
Overheard by: Tom
(in a crowded elevator there is a brief, unidentifiable noise)
Co-worker #1 (in Japanese): Keiko*, did you just fart?
Co-worker #2 (in Japanese): Well, my asshole *is* kind of loose lately.
(all Japanese in elevator burst out laughing)
Co-worker #2: What?
Bethesda, Maryland
Overheard by: Minivet
Female coworker: What does “truncated” mean?
Male coworker: It’s like… If you shortened an elephant’s trunk, it would be truncated.
(pause)
Female coworker: But this e-mail doesn’t even say anything about elephants.
Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Babar
Customer service rep: Aaaaahhhhhhh!
Planner: What’s wrong??
Customer service rep: I just saw a mouse!
Planner: Um, yeah, so? That’s just George.
Customer service rep: What?
Planner: Sometimes George likes to come out and play.
Plainfield Pike, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Stuck in my cube
