(coworker is walking down the corridor with 3-D glasses on)
Girl: That's a bit odd. Does he realize he's only going to see things in color, not in 3-D?
Guy: You didn't just say that.
Girl: What?
Guy: Well, how many dimensions do you think I am?
Girl: One.
Portland, Oregon
Boss to secretary: You know what I still have?
Secretary: Herpes.
Boss: Uh, err, get back to work!
Mullica Hill Road
Glassboro, New Jersey
Editor (talking about diabetic colleague): So, around five o'clock he walks by and he's holding a candy bar–a Snickers–and I'm like, what is this? Suicide? If he goes into convulsions, I'm just going to gather my stuff and stroll out of here.
Newsroom
Stafford, New Jersey
Overheard by: inothernews
Drunk girl: How am I going to get home? I don't have enough money! Oh, except for the thousands of dollars falling out of my ass.
Chicago, Illinois
Director, shouting from inside her office: Just eat the damn strudel and shut up!
Moline, Illinois
Overheard by: Dzesika
Manager: Yes, but I still dribble a bit.
Subordinate: Well, you may wanna have a doctor take a look at that.
Okemos, Michigan
Overheard by: yawp
Coworker on phone: That's 'cause your toes got stuck under the dresser.
New York Avenue
Washington, DC
Nurse: Do you smoke?
Older man: No.
Nurse: Have you ever smoked?
Older man: Yes.
Nurse: And how many cigarettes a day did you smoke?
Older man: Uh, three. No, five. A pack.
Nurse: And when did you quit?
Older man: Uh, yesterday.
Nurse: You're still smoking, aren't you?
Older man: Yes.
Hospital
Harlem, New York
Overheard by: Natalie
Male work-study student: I was gonna give a dozen roses to this girl I liked, but I decided not to. Do you want them?
Female full-time professional: If anyone's gonna give me 12 of anything it's gonna be inches.
University
El Paso, Texas
