But You Have to Promise to Only Use the Pizza for Good

Woman: Can you put green peppers and mushrooms on one half and pepperoni on the other?
Pizza Hut guy: Yes, we have the technology to do that.

Beloit, Wisconsin

Overheard by: Truly amazing

Posted on September 8, 2019
Customers, Employees, Meals and Snacks, Offers and requests, Technology, Wisconsin

But I Still Could Only Get Half-way In

Mechanic: Did you put lube in it?
Customer: I put all the lube in she would take.

1301 Highway 501 East
Conway, South Carolina

Posted on July 31, 2019
Customers, Employees, Possible Sexual Harassment, South Carolina

It's a New Orleans Thing, Dear Reader

Operator setting up auto claim with customer on phone: Sir, I'm so sorry your car got stolen today. At least you babies and CDs are fine. I think you need to git you some whiskey to calm you down. Or just do what I do to calm myself down, cheer! “Who dat! Who dat! Who dat! Yayayayayaya! Who dat!”

Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Overheard by: Wish I had my MP3 player today

Posted on July 17, 2019
Advice, Crimes, Customers, Drinking, Dumb Employees, Family, General Idiocy, Louisiana, On the phone, Words

But We Play a Mean Accordian

Customer to toddler: Son, you’ve just learned a valuable lesson that you can use in life — the men in your family don’t dance.

6230 East Speedway Boulevard
Tucson, Arizona

Overheard by: Employee

Posted on July 10, 2019
Arizona, Arts, Customers, Default, Family

Think Of Your Computer As a Chick at a Bar…

CSR, on phone with customer: I'm sorry, but that's not a confirmation code. That's the word “denied.”

Bryan, Texas

Overheard by: Jax

Posted on June 18, 2019
Customer Service, Customer Support, Customers, General Idiocy, On the phone, Texas, Words

We Reserve the Right to Refuse Service to Everyone

Customer: I think you're making that up.
Employee: I think you're trespassing.

Ottawa
Ontario
Canadia

Posted on June 17, 2019
Canadia, Customers, Employees, Lies, Relationships

“…here, I filled this pen with blood for you.”

Client: I didn’t read this contract yet
Lawyer: I didn’t read it either. But you can just go ahead and sign it.

200 Park Avenue
New York, New York

Posted on April 26, 2019
Advice, Customers, General Idiocy, Gripes, Lawyers, New York

10AM Meeting with Client

Senior Director: Well, I hate to tell you this, but we’re going to be a week late with your report.
Client on speaker: You fuckin’ serious? The fuck you doing over there? Writing this thing in pen? Sanskrit? The fuck, man?
Senior Director: Actually, I’m chipping it away in stone…hey, don’t you worry about how I’m writing this fucking report! You’ll get it in a week. Who the fuck are you to give me an attitude
Client: Fuck you! Hurry the fuck up! We’re paying your ass, so you should be nice to me!
Senior Director: Kiss my ass!…cock eyed fuck! By the way, how is the wife doing?

51 W. 52nd Street
New York, NY