That’s England’s Married Name

Manager: This plug adapter is for taking something to the UK.
Woman: I don’t know what the UK is. I’m going to England, not the UK.

Pleasanton, California

Overheard by: Stephen

Posted on April 17, 2020
California, Compare and contrast, Customers, Default, Employees, Geography & History, Words

2PM Client Meeting

Lawyer on phone: I don’t care what you want to do, just file the fucking report! Shut the fuck up and file the fucking thing!
Client: Yikes.
Secretary: He’s yelling at his other secretary.
Client: …Yeah, but–
Lawyer: I said file the fucking thing!
Secretary: It’s okay. She’s also his wife.

430 West First Street
New Albany, Indiana

Posted on April 11, 2020
Customers, Family, General Idiocy, Indiana, Insults, On the phone, Receptionists

Latte Sleepers. Duh.

Old German woman: Do you have any coffee grinders?
Starbucks barista: No, we don't sell them here.
Old German woman: Do you know where I could find one?
Starbucks barista: Well, you could try another Starbucks, or Bed Bath & Beyond.
Old German woman: How illogical! Who would want to grind coffee in bed?!

Long Island, New York

Overheard by: it be beyond

Posted on December 14, 2019
Customers, Employees, Meals and Snacks, New York, Offers and requests, Wishes

Mama Was Later Arrested for Adulterating Cocktails

Lady: I’d like a Bahama Mama.
Waitress: Alright.
Lady: And make sure to tell the bartender that I’d like it with extra Mama.
Waitress: No problem, ma’am. A Bahama Mama with extra Mama. I’ll tell him.

Lansdale, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: fed up

Posted on December 1, 2019
Customers, Pennsylvania, Substance Use & Abuse

When They’re Driving a Motorboat?

Suit: Okay, so we will have the guy wearing an “I brake for whales” t-shirt?
Client: Are you aware that whales live in the ocean?
Suit: Yes.
Client: How can someone brake for a whale?
Suit: [Silence.]

175 5th Avenue
New York, New York

Overheard by: Ave Chitenmyhair