Anchor writing newscast: I don’t care about the poisoned Russian. Just give me the bong!
CBS Broadcast Center
New York, New York
Anchor writing newscast: I don’t care about the poisoned Russian. Just give me the bong!
CBS Broadcast Center
New York, New York
Large lesbo on cell: What’s new with me? Oh, nothing too much. Oh wait — yeah, I got a new dog! Yeah, another one. Well, my neighbor was killed in a murder-suicide with her boyfriend, so the dog had post-traumatic stress disorder. Oh, it’s a Irish Settler. It’s pretty cute… A little overweight, though. Besides that, not too much. You know me — work, work, work.
Marriot Hotel Concierge VIP room
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Miguelito Morrison
Sales clerk on phone: So the reason I lost the baby was because he punched me in the stomach. Yes, girl! The police don't just investigate innocent people like that. (looks at coming customer) I'll call you back. (slams phone) Can I help you?
Tallahassee, Florida
Overheard by: AP
Upset creepy man trying to get access to woman's room: I am wearing a $10,000 watch, you don't have to worry about me stealing anything.
Manager: For all I know, you killed someone and stole their watch.
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Ross79
Co-worker: That’s a great idea, get a robot to sell drugs so you don’t have to. That way, when the cops bust your robot, you don’t get in trouble, just your robot. Just think, there’s so many criminal activities you could automate, like robotic prostitutes. Until now I had thought our future was dark and grim, but how I’m seeing a bright light at the end of the tunnel.
115 Perimeter Center Place NE
Atlanta, Georgia
Teacher: When he came in to register his kids here, he tried to use his arrest report as his proof of address. “Possession with intent to sell,” it said. I told him, “You can’t use that as your proof of address; you need a BGE or a water bill.”
2000 Cecil Avenue
Baltimore, Maryland
Coworker to another: “Capone” as in the gangster, or “Capone” like the country?
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: Queen Report Monkey
Older employee to younger employees: That's why I don't live in town. I would be in jail. They would say, “you can't have a beer out here” and “you can't be in the nude” no matter how hot it is in your tomato patch!
Roanoke, West Virginia
Customer: I have not ordered this product.
Service person: But we have a contract that you have signed.
Customer: How do you think it feels if I rape you in your ass every month?
Service person: I’m sorry?
Customer: How do you think it feels if I rape you in your ass every month?
Service person: Would you do it like a gentleman?
Potsdam, Germany
