Coworker: Have you been to Foreign Brides* dot com? This is what they do — they send you a picture and string you on. Then they say they need a thousand dollars for a flight. I didn’t send it, because I knew! I knew this was a scam.
8 Cambridge Center
Boston, Massachusetts
Lab worker #1: Murder only applies to humans. It’s a term specific to us.
Lab worker #2: You can’t ‘murder’ a dream?
Lab worker #1: You can’t murder baby cows.
Lab worker #2: What about cats?
Lab worker #1: No. Cats can’t be murdered… Unless they?re half-cat, half-person.
Lab worker #2: Then it’s half murder.
Lab worker #1: Even if it’s premeditated, it’s knocked back to manslaughter. That?s probably why the cat people think we’re biased against them, but really it’s just that the legal system wasn?t set up with them in mind. [Silence.] I’ve thought about this a lot.
Durham, North Carolina
Lady peon: Hey, wanna get a beer after work?
Male peon: Yeah, right after I unleash hellfire on my toilet bowl…
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: I love where I work!!
Peon #1: Did you hear they’re thinking about banning all gel-enhanced bras on airplanes?
Peon #2: Women wear gel in their bras?
Peon #1: It’s like padding, but gel, which gives it a more natural enhancement and feel.
Peon #2: That’s false advertising!
Nova Scotia
Canadia
Worker bee #1: What’s the name of that movie with Samuel L. Jackson and the snakes on a plane?
Worker bee #2: Snakes on a Plane.
Worker bee #1: Yeah — what’s the name of it?
Worker bee #2: [Sighs.]
Hospital
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Andy
Male coworker: Yeah, mine keeps flopping down… I’m talking about my computer, by the way…
Victoria
Australia
Overheard by: Jewels
Peon #1: You know what TV show I’d really like to be on?
Peon #2: Knight Rider?
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: still laughing
Salesperson: I’m having problems with my unit.
Accountant: What?
Salesperson: Yeah. When I put it in my ear, it whistles.
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Male peon eating peanuts, to lady peon: Do you mind if I put my nut dust in your can?
South Carolina
Overheard by: peachy girl
Cube rat on phone: Well, spray Garrett*, have him walk around for a while, and see if he comes back smelling the same.
Highway 69 South
Monroe, Wisconsin
