Tester: Dude, did you see this? There’s a button in the software that says “Fuck Off.”
Designer: So?…That’s a feature. Did you press it?
Tester: Yeah…it just went away.
Designer: And did it make you feel better?
Tester: Strangely, yeah. Yeah, it did.
Designer: See?
211 Van Buren Street
Nashville, Indiana
Overheard by: Scott
Girl on intercom: Happy hour is now beginning in the upstairs happy room.
(intercom off, then back on)
Man: You are all a bunch of bitches.
Washington, DC
CSR: Okay, is there anything else?
Underling: No that's it.
CRS: Okay… you have a good day.
Underling: You have a winning day with Jesus!
CSR: Uh… sure, you too.
Atlanta, Georgia
Coworker: Why did you move to Atlanta?
Customer: Just looking for greener pastures.
Coworker: Oh, are you in livestock?
Lansing, Michigan
Overheard by: plz shoot me now
[coworkers discussing switching from current ordering system to proposed new system]Bob: So, it would be like trading in your Honda civic hybrid for an old Schwinn?
Jill: Um, no. It would be like trading in my hybrid for a fucking rusted-out Yugo propped up on cinder blocks in my front yard.
Raleigh Street
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Overheard by: snoopdude
A/R girl: Your crotch is all done.
Billing: Okay, thanks. Now I can walk around and not worry about indecency.
A/R girl: Yeah. So if it comes apart again just bring it back in and I’ll stitch your crotch back together.
Bedford Heights, Ohio
Overheard by: medieval much?
Hospital worker #1: Oh my God! Did you see those warts?
Hospital worker #2: No, I missed them.
Hospital worker #1: How could you miss them? Weren’t you holding the labia?
Hospital worker #2: No, that wasn’t me.
Hospital worker #1: Are you sure? I thought that was you.
Hospital Worker #2: No, I wasn’t holding any labia today.
100 East Carroll Street
Salisbury, Maryland
Co-worker #1: Does the administrator know that her hair looks like that? She looks like a mental patient!
Co-worker #2: Yes! She did that on purpose, I mean she used bobby pins and hair spray.
Co-worker #1: Everyone is laughing at her. Should we tell her?
Co-worker #2: Don’t you dare! This is the best day of my life!
1024 N. Foster Drive
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Male colleague, interrupted by another: Oh! I open my mouth and you come!
Chippenham
England
