Office lesbian: (suddenly starts sniffing the air)
Office straight girl: It's me…
Office lesbian: (nods and resumes working)
Fort Mill, South Carolina
Office lesbian: (suddenly starts sniffing the air)
Office straight girl: It's me…
Office lesbian: (nods and resumes working)
Fort Mill, South Carolina
Waitress #1, to customer: I've tried that before, except I don't really like runny eggs, so I usually don't get it. It's good, though. Poached eggs look too much like an abortion. (pauses) I probably shouldn't have said that…
Waitress #2, overhearing: Wait, what looks like an abortion?
Waitress #1: Poached eggs.
Waitress #2: Oh. (pause) Yeah, they do.
Café
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: I wouldn't know. I've never had one.
Woman peon: I think she’s okay. She got serviced…
11th Street NW
Washington, DC
Manager: She was an elephant trainer in Thailand.
Assistant: Oh yeah, like that’s hard. Eat the peanut, bitch! [makes a whip gesture and cracking sound.]
Kirkwood, Missouri
Overheard by: Matt
PR lady #1: I have nuts.
PR lady #2: That’s great, because I have a penis.
658 Church Street
Richmond, Victoria
Australia
Overheard by: Louise
Cube dweller to coworker: Dude, that diamond was flawless–it was anatomically correct.
Indianapolis, Indiana
Office girl #1: I'm just a lot more corporate and sophisticated than you guys are. I wore corporate stocks at that hedge fund in Greenwich.
Office girl #2: You mean stockings, right?
Office girl #1: Right. And I bought them in tweed, so I didn't look like a slut.
Manhattan, New York
Editor: Is there any way this can technically be swept under a virtual rug?
Two Penn Plaza
New York, New York
Young phone monkey: Do Canadians celebrate Christmas?
Older phone monkey: Jesus Christ!
Gran Park
Orlando, Florida
Guy #1: Those lawyers are like rats, they know they suck but do it anyway.
Guy #2: Rats don’t know they suck…
210 Highwoods Blvd.
Raleigh, North Carolina
