Co-Worker #1: …and who ordered the salad?
Co-Worker #2: Marie*, but she left for the day.
Co-Worker #1: Is she okay?
Co-Worker #2: I hope so. She was crying when she left. I guess the police called and said her 7-year-old daughter was a town over from where she was supposed to be, and no one knows where the sitter went.
Co-Worker #1: Oh, that’s awful. [long pause] So you think that means I can eat her salad?
Providence, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Kate
Dev #1: Did you put this in my office?
Dev #2: What is it?
Dev #1: Looks like a feather or something. Maybe from a feather duster? You always put random things in my office.
Dev #2: No, I only put things in your office I find on my body.
6205 Peachtree Dunwoody Road NE
Atlanta, Georgia
Coworker: In five seconds I’m giving up and giving my fish a bath.
1275 Broadway
Albany, New York
Overheard by: Sally
Married dude: The regular girl wasn’t there so they sent the cute one.
Happily-Married dude: Uh huh, the ugly one wasn’t there so you met with the cute one.
Married dude: I find her very attractive.
Happily-Married dude: You are married!
Married dude: But she’s paralyzed from the waist down.
Happily-Married dude: You’re married! So you are paralyzed from the waist down!
226 Fifth Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Dag
Coworker #1: You have an AOL email address?
Coworker #2: I know…So old-school.
623 Fifth Avenue
New York, New York
Cubicle girl #1: Damn! No toilet paper!
Cubicle girl #2, hesistantly: No. None in here, either.
Cubicle girl #1: Argh, I'll just have to wiggle. (pause) I hate wiggling! (pause) Only boys should have to wiggle.
Girls' Toilets
England
Overheard by: Disturbed Toilet User
CSR on phone with customer: I'm sorry, sir, but we don't cover vehicles outside the United States.
(five minutes later)
CSR to coworker: I think I told the customer the wrong thing. Is Hawaii part of the United States?
Southington, Connecticut
Colleague: I'm so tired all the time, man. I must have necrophilia.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: I know Latin
Lady in cube on phone: Hey, where's a good place to buy dad a new holster for his .38? (pause) No! I got him bullets last year!
Aliso Viejo, California
