Trainee#1: I'm just kissing your ass!
Trainee#2: You picked the wrong ass to kiss. My ass can't do shit!
Ellensburg, Washington
Trainee#1: I'm just kissing your ass!
Trainee#2: You picked the wrong ass to kiss. My ass can't do shit!
Ellensburg, Washington
Coworker #1, introducing coworker #2: His favorite thing to do on the weekend is to be loose.
Coworker #2: Lazy, not loose!
Broadway & Canal
New York City, New York
Overheard by: office peon loves her new job
Cubicle girl: I do believe that while sneezing I strained my uterus.
Melville, New York
Cube dweller: Did I ever tell you about my paranoia with wind instruments?
Spring Hill Road
Vienna, Virginia
Overheard by: Cubie Cal
Annoyed peon: None of it rhymes! He rhymes ‘lizards’ with ‘chinchillas’ and ‘dogs’ with ‘scorpions.’
101 2nd Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: pinup
Coworker on phone with client: Sorry for the delay, I just got a new laptop and I'm still working out all the kinks… And it is really kinky!
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Lady peon to males making farting noises: Please! I am on the phone with my dad! [Into phone] No, they’re your age!
Burbank, California
Coworker on phone: How can I help you? Ummm… Okay. Sir, is everything alright? Well, you seem to be breathing a little heavy. No, I can’t help you with that. You should probably go out and buy a magazine. I’m hanging up now sir [hangs up]. Fucking freaks.
Spring Street and Cleveland Avenue
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: Ari
Coworker #1, watching tv: Oh my god! One-one-eleven!
Coworker #2: Yeah, and then eleven-eleven-eleven.
Coworker #1, shocked: When's that?
Bala Cynwyd, Pennsylvania
Coworker #1: I can’t believe the three of them just strolled right past my cubicle, and Karen* did not ask us if we wanted to go to lunch with them!
Coworker #2: She is so rude! You ready?
Coworker #1: Yeah, I’m starving.
Shier Rings Road
Dublin, Ohio
Overheard by: Invisible Girl
