[coworkers discussing switching from current ordering system to proposed new system]Bob: So, it would be like trading in your Honda civic hybrid for an old Schwinn?
Jill: Um, no. It would be like trading in my hybrid for a fucking rusted-out Yugo propped up on cinder blocks in my front yard.
Raleigh Street
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Overheard by: snoopdude
A/R girl: Your crotch is all done.
Billing: Okay, thanks. Now I can walk around and not worry about indecency.
A/R girl: Yeah. So if it comes apart again just bring it back in and I’ll stitch your crotch back together.
Bedford Heights, Ohio
Overheard by: medieval much?
Hospital worker #1: Oh my God! Did you see those warts?
Hospital worker #2: No, I missed them.
Hospital worker #1: How could you miss them? Weren’t you holding the labia?
Hospital worker #2: No, that wasn’t me.
Hospital worker #1: Are you sure? I thought that was you.
Hospital Worker #2: No, I wasn’t holding any labia today.
100 East Carroll Street
Salisbury, Maryland
Co-worker #1: Does the administrator know that her hair looks like that? She looks like a mental patient!
Co-worker #2: Yes! She did that on purpose, I mean she used bobby pins and hair spray.
Co-worker #1: Everyone is laughing at her. Should we tell her?
Co-worker #2: Don’t you dare! This is the best day of my life!
1024 N. Foster Drive
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Male colleague, interrupted by another: Oh! I open my mouth and you come!
Chippenham
England
Maintenance foreman talking to vendor about fittings: When I say air, I’m talking about nitrogen.
Southlake Boulevard
Richmond, Virginia
Coworker #1: Do you want to meet in your cube, or should we get a room or something?
Coworker #2: I’m not sure I like how you phrased that…
290 Concord Road
Billerica, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Heard everything
Copy Editor: Hi, [Marco]. You just missed the porn.
Art Director: What?
Copy Editor: I’m serious. There was porn but I just deleted it. Spam. Usually they take out the pictures…
Art Director: Why didn’t I get the porn?
6100 Center Drive
Los Angeles, California
Girl associate #1: She has to send everything to do with my client through me! So I emailed her and copied her boss and everyone, basically telling her so.
Girl associate #2: Did it work? What did she say?
Girl associate #1: Yeah, but I didn’t even understand what she was talking about and I had way too much to do and so I just told her to take care of it. I so need an assistant.
Girl associate #2: Yeah…
2025 E St, NW
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Red
Drone #1: I am trying really hard to stay away from these cookies on my desk.
Drone #2: Oh my God, tell me about it. Those cookies are GOOD.
Drone #1: Maybe if I look at how many calories they have, it’ll be easier to stay away. One cookie, 120 calories.
Drone #3: Well, how many calories are you supposed to have?
Drone #1: I don’t know. I think 2000 calories is supposed to be average.
Drone #3: And the cookies are 120? Then you can eat all you want!
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
