Guy on phone: I’m single, I’m not tied-down, I’m Italian — what the fuck else do you want?
Cupertino, California
Overheard by: tmg
Guy on phone: I’m single, I’m not tied-down, I’m Italian — what the fuck else do you want?
Cupertino, California
Overheard by: tmg
Female coworker: Well, I guess I hadn’t thought it out so thoroughly.
Male coworker: Yeah, and the hookers were like, ‘Woo-hoo, market share!’
Chevy Chase, Building 4
Maryland
Overheard by: Xen
Bearded man in green pixie wig, pink feather boa, and fairy wings: I think about death every day.
577 Western Avenue
Westfield, Massachusetts
Overheard by: it’s halloween
Woman #1: Well, we were stupid back then. We thought cracking your knuckles was cool — we didn’t realize it could lead to arthritis.
Woman #2, taking a drag on her cigarette: Yeah, we just didn’t know.
7715 Chevy Chase Drive
Austin, Texas
Coworker: I was in a car accident once, but it wasn’t my fault because I was asleep.
1855 South Grant Street
San Mateo, California
Overheard by: Not carpooling anymore
Chick: So you don’t know anything about anything behind the service desk?
Old manager: No, nothing.
Chick: So what happens if someone comes in here and robs us? You don’t know how to push the button to call the cops?
Old manager: No.
Chick: So… what if that happens?
Old manager: I do know how to hire a new person.
Lawyers Road
Charlotte, North Carolina
Overheard by: CSReppingsucks.
Middle-aged guy #1 looking at menu: Hey, man, they spelled ‘Caesar’ wrong.
Middle-aged guy #2: What do you mean?
Middle-aged guy #1: They spelled it C-A-E-S-A-R instead of C-E-A-S-A-R. They switched the ‘A’ and ‘E.’
Middle-aged guy #2: Yeah, I’ve seen it spelled that way before. It’s, like, the authentic Roman spelling.
Middle-aged guy #1: Oh, yeah, they were always doing crazy shit… Like backward V’s and stuff.
Sam Snead’s Tavern
Shawnee on Delaware, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Logan
Guy #1: Hey, I thought you left already. When is your last day?
Guy #2: No, I’m still here until Thursday. Why?
Guy #1: I just wanted to know when you’re still just working here and when I should call security.
7-Eleven, 3rd Avenue
New York, New York
Woman #1: My boyfriend is Italian. That’s as good as fucking a black man, but without the racial drama.
Woman #2: I thought Italian men were dumb.
Woman #1: Exactly.
Forest Avenue
Paramus, New Jersey
Overheard by: Office Manager
Office girl #1 to girl #2: Oh, you are so supportive, Karen*!
Office girl #3: Yeah! Like a bra!
423 East 23rd Street
New York, New York
