Coworkers

It’s Hard to Keep All Those Former Soviet States Straight

Girl: Hey, Pete*, are you feeling smart today?
Guy #1: Maybe, why?
Girl: Do you know if Korea is a separate country, or is it, like, part of China or Japan?
Guy #1: I have no idea. Why do you need to know?
Girl: I’m trying to look up UPS rates for Korea, but I can’t find Korea.
Guy #1: Troy*!
Guy #2: Yes?
Guy #1: Is Korea a separate country from China or Japan?
Guy #2: Yes.
Girl: OK, well, I can’t find it on the drop-down. Is it called something else?
Guy #2: Republic of Korea?
Girl: No.
Guy #2: South Korea?
Girl: Oh… OK, there it is!

Phoenix, Arizona

It Lost Its Virginity in Sixth Grade!

Blood drive participant: My blood is faster than your blood!

1924 Alcoa Highway
Knoxville, Tennessee

The Red Sea Was a Giant Wine Bar

Devout drinker: So if you think about it… Moses would want you to be drunk right now.

1 University Station
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Converting to Judaism

She’s One of Those Undercover Deafies

Grease monkey #1: That woman over there…
Grease monkey #2: Yeah?
Grease monkey #1: Is she deaf or something?
Grease monkey #2: Yeah, she’s deaf.
Grease monkey #1: But she looks just like any other woman, yo!

Jiffy Lube, Rosecrans Boulevard
San Diego, California

Overheard by: BigWig

I Can Sell Her Anything!

Assistant: Let me see if she’s available… Missy, do you want to talk to a Janie* at US, Inc.*?
Missy: She’s a dumbass… Yeah, I want to talk to her.

8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

I’ll Bet the Fax Machine Will Be More Understanding

Speaker on fax machine: Listen, you freakin’ idiot, this is the third time in five minutes you’re tryin’ to fax something to a phone number.
Employee in adjacent cubicle, two minutes later: Yeah, hi, this is the freakin’ idiot… [loud squelching]… shit, now I dialed their fax number.

Georgesville Road
Columbus, Ohio

Overheard by: laughing in next cubicle

Too Bad It’s Another Part That Got the Clap

Girl #1: My boyfriend is in the pen.
Girl #2: For how long?
Girl #1: He’s been there for three years.
Girl #2: Wow! You’ve been faithful to him for three years?
Girl #1: My heart has been…

2720 Villa Prom
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Overheard by: FrancesDanger

Luckily All the Prejudice is Concentrated in Mississippi, Where We Can Keep an Eye on It

Co-Worker: You should move to Mississippi, so your children won’t have to go to school with all those black kids. But people in Mississippi are really prejudiced though…

Memphis, Tennessee

Plus, They Poop All Over Your Suit

Male co-worker: I don’t understand why taking your baby on your lap in an airplane is such a bad idea.
Female co-worker: Dude, what if you crash? That can’t be safe.
Male co-worker: You’re right, I guess. Babies probably don’t make great flotation devices.

590 North Shore Drive
Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Overheard by: Ashley

And You’re ‘About’ the Most Intelligent Woman I’ve Ever Met

Male co-worker: Check out this photo.
Female co-worker: This is an old photo of you.
Male co-worker: Yeah, it was taken around 1991.
Female co-worker: Wow! That was about 27 years ago!

6606 Tussing Road
Reynoldsburg, Ohio

Overheard by: Someone that can add & subtract

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