Devout drinker: So if you think about it… Moses would want you to be drunk right now.
1 University Station
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Converting to Judaism
Devout drinker: So if you think about it… Moses would want you to be drunk right now.
1 University Station
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Converting to Judaism
Grease monkey #1: That woman over there…
Grease monkey #2: Yeah?
Grease monkey #1: Is she deaf or something?
Grease monkey #2: Yeah, she’s deaf.
Grease monkey #1: But she looks just like any other woman, yo!
Jiffy Lube, Rosecrans Boulevard
San Diego, California
Overheard by: BigWig
Assistant: Let me see if she’s available… Missy, do you want to talk to a Janie* at US, Inc.*?
Missy: She’s a dumbass… Yeah, I want to talk to her.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Speaker on fax machine: Listen, you freakin’ idiot, this is the third time in five minutes you’re tryin’ to fax something to a phone number.
Employee in adjacent cubicle, two minutes later: Yeah, hi, this is the freakin’ idiot… [loud squelching]… shit, now I dialed their fax number.
Georgesville Road
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: laughing in next cubicle
Girl #1: My boyfriend is in the pen.
Girl #2: For how long?
Girl #1: He’s been there for three years.
Girl #2: Wow! You’ve been faithful to him for three years?
Girl #1: My heart has been…
2720 Villa Prom
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: FrancesDanger
Co-Worker: You should move to Mississippi, so your children won’t have to go to school with all those black kids. But people in Mississippi are really prejudiced though…
Memphis, Tennessee
Male co-worker: I don’t understand why taking your baby on your lap in an airplane is such a bad idea.
Female co-worker: Dude, what if you crash? That can’t be safe.
Male co-worker: You’re right, I guess. Babies probably don’t make great flotation devices.
590 North Shore Drive
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Ashley
Male co-worker: Check out this photo.
Female co-worker: This is an old photo of you.
Male co-worker: Yeah, it was taken around 1991.
Female co-worker: Wow! That was about 27 years ago!
6606 Tussing Road
Reynoldsburg, Ohio
Overheard by: Someone that can add & subtract
Co-Worker: You need to preheat your hooha. This is too much.
Intern: We’re still talking about the steaming the laundry, right?
Pickard Theater
Brunswick, Maine
Overheard by: grappling with zippers
Co-Worker #1: So is Mumbai, like, a country that we do business with?
Co-Worker #2: No, it’s a city! It used to be called Bombay before those imperialist American jerks finally pulled out and the native people got their land back.
Co-Worker #1: Oh. So it was Moscow that was the country I was thinking of?
Co-Worker #2: Probably.
323B 41st Avenue
Calgary, Canadia
