Coworker to another: We're a fucking team here, asshole!
The Woodlands, Texas
Overheard by: Jeremy
Coworker to another: We're a fucking team here, asshole!
The Woodlands, Texas
Overheard by: Jeremy
Secretary: Well, we’re going to Jersey for that meeting, so we could go to the Village Gourmet.
Engineer: Yeah, that was good the last time.
Surveyor: Doesn’t the guy that owns that one own another one too, right down the street from the Village Gourmet?
Secretary: Yeah, but it’s really expensive, everything’s a la carte.
Engineer: What does a la carte mean anyway?
Secretary: Dude, you’re 26 years old and you don’t know what a la fucking carte means?
Surveyor: Aren’t you French Canadian, too?
One Penn Plaza
New York, NY
Overheard by: Melissa Miller
Boss: That's a great idea! Why didn't we think of that before? Wait… Is that legal?
Office manager: No.
Boss, hanging head: Awwwww…
Sarasota, Florida
Woman #1: Maybe it fell out because her vagina had no…tone.
Woman #2: What?
Woman #3: Right, no Kegel’s.
Woman #2: What?
Woman #1: Right, you are supposed to do Kegel’s all day.
Woman #2: Since when?
Woman #1: From when you are 20. Or have a lot of sex.
Woman #3: I’d rather have a lot of sex than do Kegel’s, but I do them, too.
Woman #2: What? My vagina is fine without either one. Don’t tell my husband that, either.
Woman #3: You’ll be sorry when you are older.
Woman #1: You never did Kegel’s? We used to have contests at my other job.
Only man in the meeting walks in.
Woman #2: Well! What do men have to do?
Woman #3, smiling sweetly: Nothing. Men are perfect.
Bergen County, New Jersey
Manager to humming receptionist: You have a nice voice.
Receptionist: Yeah?
Manager: Well, not when you talk.
Scotts Valley, California
Overheard by: Mari
Boss, during PowerPoint presentation: We have a sales guy in Houston… Great guy! He'll bend over and do anything for you.
Ottawa
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Michael Abraham
Middle-aged copywriter to young techno weenie: PowerPoint is nice, but don’t ever underestimate the power of puppets.
West Lexington Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Here4theLaughs
Girl: Omigosh, I learned something today. Did you know that bras have an adjustable strap? Well, the one I’m wearing today was always loose and showing my boobies a little, but then I adjusted the strap, and whoa, let me tell ya, my boobs are like five feet higher in the air, and they are fully covered.
Career Center
Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Overheard by: azn
Woman exiting bathroom stall to woman washing her hands at sink: Shirley! I like you! You've filled out your jeans!
Chesapeake, Virginia
Income auditor guy: I want to buy my fiance a gift like make-up.
Income auditor gal: Cool, how much you set for it?
Income auditor guy: 30 Egyptian pounds.
Income auditor gal: You could buy a blusher with 30 EGP.
Income auditor guy: Well then, how about cheap make-up?
Income auditor gal: You can’t buy anything with 30 EGP.
Income auditor guy: Well how much do you think I need?
Income auditor gal: About 500 EGP to buy her one of those cute boxes that’s full of make-up and perfumes.
Income auditor guy: With 500 EGP, I could send her to a plastic surgeon and get change.
Translated from the Arabic.
Le Meridien Makadi Bay Hotel
South Hurghada, Egypt
