Male peon: Lot of words on those pages.
Female peon, trying to read on her lunch break: [Blinks] Yeah… Being a book, and all.
Male peon: Well, I dunno. I never really read any book-books. Just, like, magazines and stuff.
Female peon: [Stares.]
Manor Road
Austin, Texas
CSR on the phone: At first it was a bad pain, and now it’s like a good pain, like I can take it a little more now.
Graphics Drive
White Plains, New York
Overheard by: The Mole
Lawyer: It’s not exactly ethical but we have to get this thing out today.
Intern: That isn’t just unethical… Isn’t it illegal?
Lawyer: Only if you think contracts are binding.
Madison Avenue
New York City, New York
Receptionist on phone: Some people say they have OCD. They don’t have OCD. They’re nuts!
Office
Lyndhurst, New Jersey
Hardhat #1: Don’t worry. You will do something wrong that will make her mad, sooner or later.
Hardhat #2: Impossible. I don’t do wrong shit everyday!
Construction site
Austell, Georgia
Sales person: Did you just say, “dildo”?
Office admin: No! I said, “tail goes”.
Sales person, laughing: Wow. That’s not what I heard.
Office admin: You seriously need some alone time.
James Street
Syracuse, New York
Insurance salesman: Maternity is covered as a sickness under this policy.
39th Avenue
Hollywood, Florida
CFO: There has to be a way to gather that information.
Financial analyst: But what you are asking me to do is simply guessing. I don’t have tools to gather information that can’t be proven!
CFO: Hey! Socrates only had a stick and sand!
Fourth Street
Berkeley, California
Overheard by: dude
Art director: Do these look like vaginas to you?
Research manager: Actually, it could be shrimp cocktail.
Seventh Avenue
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Where’s the horseradish?
VP: The guy’s stupider than he looks.
Peon: What does he look like?
VP: I don’t know, I’ve never seen him.
Beachwood, Ohio
