CEO to board: This is too complicated for you. The lawyer and myself are like eagles flying high above you. You wouldn’t understand.
Board member: Yes, but remember — we can shoot you down.
4000 Old Seward Highway
Anchorage, Alaska
Overheard by: Ataqun
IT guy: You know why sardines are so good? Because their bones are young and soft.
Mesquite, Nevada
Young secretary #1: I don't understand why men are all interested in cougars now.
Young male employee: Mmmmm… cougars.
Young secretary #2: There's a Greek quote that says the older chicken is juicier.
Young secretary #1: Yeah… But isn't it harder to chew?
Lausanne
Switzerland
Overheard by: You lost me at juicier.
Coworker #1 to 20-something coworker: I will boss you. I'm old enough to be your mother, and I will boss you.
Coworker #2, joining in: And I'm old enough to be your grandmother.
Coworker #1: And we will box your ears together.
(a few minutes later)
Coworker #1: Someday you're going to get married, so you might as well get used to being bossed around.
West Lafayette, Indiana
Overheard by: Rachel S.
Coworker #1: Yeah, I have syringes at home. Don’t you?
Coworker #2: No. Why? Does someone in your house have diabetes?
Coworker #1: No. Is this weird? Hold on, let me call my brother.
(a few minutes later.)
Coworker #1: Oh, well. They’re not syringes. They’re teeth whiteners.
West Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Julianna
Coworker #1: St. Patrick's Day is my favorite holiday. I'm 100% Irish!
Coworker #2: Oh yeah?
Coworker #1: Yeah, especially on my dad's side. He's Irish, Scottish, and Welsh.
Coworker #2: Well, then you're not 100% Irish.
Coworker #1: Yes, I am.
Coworker #2: No, you're not. You're…
Coworker #1: Yes I am. I am 100% Irish.
Coworker #2: Whatever, man.
Coworker #1: The Irish are stubborn, you know.
Phoenix, Arizona
Accounting supervisor: I'd really like for this customer to start paying on time.
Trade floor director: Well, I'd like bigger tits and a smaller ass, but that's not going to happen.
Houston, Texas
Boss on phone: That is not clinical! Being an asshole is not a clinical condition.
Ginko Industrial Park
Warminster, Pennsylvania
Co-worker #1: Who was that boy? He was cute!
Co-worker #2: It won’t work. He’s a preacher and you’re a whore.
Main Street
Gainsville, Florida
Angry manager: I’ve got more important shit in my life than that goddam coffee can.
New Mexico
