His Supervisor Doesn't Like Him Because He's Always Rushin'

Dude: My brother is the Rasputin of the welding industry.

Elevator
Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Jas

Posted on October 27, 2014
Compare and contrast, Family, New York, Strangers

A Game of Whose-Wife-Is-Bigger Really Enlivens the Workday

Underling: How big is yours?
Team lead: I don’t know, let’s see.
(pause)
Team lead: Man, that’s big!
Underling: If you think that’s big, that makes mine huge.
Team lead: Really? Let’s see it.
Underling: Okay.
(pause)
Team lead: Wow. You weren’t kidding.

Fayetteville, Arkansas

Overheard by: Jonathan

Posted on October 22, 2014
Arkansas, Body Parts, Bosses and Underlings, Compare and contrast, Default, Questions

So That Was You in the Potted Plant?

Professor: We need this paper to be huge! I want people to fear us when we go to meetings… We need to be like male elephants!
Grad student #1: You want me to grow tusks?
Grad student #2: You want me to grow big ears?
Professor: No! We need to pee all over everything!

Johns Hopkins University
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: LabCat

Posted on October 22, 2014
Advice, Animals, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, Education, Feelings, Maryland, Places, Students, Teachers

Fingers Don't Lie, but Liars Finger, Y'know

Manager to engineer: That'll cut our sales in half by at least 85%!

Batavia, Ohio

Posted on October 22, 2014
Bosses, Compare and contrast, Engineers, General Idiocy, Ohio

Meg Ryan's Plastic Surgeon Needs to Lose His License.

Gas station attendant: Yeah, but that was before. Now she just looks like a Mexican.

Cutlerville, Michigan

Posted on October 21, 2014
Compare and contrast, Employees, Michigan, Physical Appearance

There It Is

Sales guy #1: … or you know it could send to your POP3.
Sales guy #2: Don’t pretend like you know what you’re talking about.
Sales guy #1: At least I had a term. Where’s your term, motherfucker?!

Bonner Springs, Kansas

Posted on October 21, 2014
Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, Education, Insults, Kansas, Questions, Sales, Technology

The Naughty Librarian Strikes Again

Helpful librarian: Here is an explanation of the changes a boy goes through, and masturbation.
Shocked redfaced teen: No, I said books on emancipation!

Ceres, California

Posted on October 20, 2014
California, Compare and contrast, Default, Education, Employees, Offers and requests, Sexuality, Students, Words

And You Can’t Spell “Contagious” Without “Us”

Boss, sending a sick employee home: You are so stubborn, I told you not to come in today.
Employee: I didn’t know I was sick, I just thought I didn’t feel good.

Long Beach, California