Boss on phone: That’s what I’m saying! He’s had his beer, he’s had his Vegas, he’s a Muslim, and I’m going to hell.
1st Street
Los Angeles, California
Boss on phone: That’s what I’m saying! He’s had his beer, he’s had his Vegas, he’s a Muslim, and I’m going to hell.
1st Street
Los Angeles, California
Coworker #1: If being married is so bad, why are you still married?
Coworker #2: It's cheaper to keep her!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Althoff
Older gentleman in response to memo on sexual harassment: In this office we don’t have sexual harassment, we just have sex!
Seguin, Texas
Interviewer: I’m sorry. From my conversation with your former supervisor I expected you to be a man!
Interviewee: I’m a girl! I’ll show you!
Torrey Pines Road
La Jolla, California
Jewish executive: The CEO of [name] company is coming from Israel for negotiations.
Redneck executive (exasperated): I hate dealing with Israelis! They're the hardest people to negotiate with. They're never satisfied with any deal you work out.
Jewish executive: (silence)
Redneck executive: It's like water torture!
Peon: Um, I think that's the Chinese.
San Mateo, California
Newbie: So Diane* is the one with dirty blonde hair?
Seasoned worker: I don't think they like the term “dirty.”
Newbie: Oh yeah, my girlfriend kinda likes being called “dirty.”
Seasoned worker: I meant the hair color.
Newbie: I know!
Inverness Work Plex
Denver, Colorado
Coworker, after being asked several times if she likes a coworker's new shoes: No, they're ugly like your face.
Missoula, Montana
Grad student: You know those pencil sharpeners you had in elementary school? Well, the same thing happens with the electrical concept. And I didn't know.
Lafayette, Indiana
Overheard by: Rachel S.
Female coworker #1: I’m sure *Mark hates being the only guy on these smoke breaks; especially when we start talking about our vagina issues.
Female coworker #2: That’s how I feel when y’all talk about football. Football is my vagina.
Sex Toy Company
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Sex Writer Goddess
Office Mormon to guy drinking beer at dinner: Dude, you're so drunk.
Drinker: I don't tell you what it's like to be Mormon, so you don't tell me what it's like to be drunk.
Honolulu, Hawaii
