Bosses

Manager: We’ve noticed that you haven’t responded to the anonymous survey. We’d like your feedback as soon as possible.

32nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey

Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer

Two co-workers watch a woman showering in a window across the street.

Female co-worker: Is she dry showering?
Guy: No, there’s soap on her legs. Wow, those are America’s cleanest boobs.
Female co-worker: You can’t see soap from here.
Male co-worker: You can with the binoculars in my office.

Male co-worker runs to get the binoculars.

Female co-worker: Uh oh. She just cleaned somewhere funny.
Boss: What’s going on?… Ahh, a nudie with fake boobies! I love a good set of fake knockers!
Male co-worker: She has a scar on her butt.
Boss: I think that’s a tattoo.
Female co-worker: She should get that checked out.

225 North Michigan
Chicago, Illinois

Boss on speakerphone: Yes, I need the data charts for the presentation tomorrow, could you e-mail them to me electronically?
Employee: Electronically? Uhhhh, yes, I’ll do it right away.

Houston, Texas

Overheard by: Corporate stooge

Boss: You’ll be happy to know that we asked accounting to open up a billing code for “unstrategic planning.”

5340 Alla Road
Los Angeles, California

Office manager, heating up lunch: “Just add water and microwave for four minutes.” No, that has too many directions.

Detroit, Michigan

Overheard by: Confused

Account manager, yelling across the hall: He needs you to bring more photo paper, and black ink.
PR exec, yelling back: A black cape?
Account manager: No, ink!
PR exec: A cape?
Account manager: He wants ink!
PR exec: Why does he want a cape?

London
Canadia

Manager: This month's data looks solid, but can we use November's data?
Office guy: Well, November was like the transition, it's not crap like it was before but it's not as good as this new stuff…
Manager: So, November is like solidifying crap?
Office guy: Uh…sure?

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Manager: So, you’re back! How was your vacation?
Contractor: Well, I think I got a lot done.
Peon: That’s the most depressing thing I’ve ever heard.

909 A Street
Tacoma, Washington

Overheard by: Barnstable

Newly appointed head of county school superintendent's office: We need to teach out children why they need to know trigometry. (pause) With cooperation from sheriff's real CSI, kids will learn how trigometry is used to solve crimes.

Apple Valley, California

Overheard by: Kittytrix

Pilot: Folks we’ll be flying at 28 thousand feet today, however, the folks at maintenance only gave us enough fuel to fly at 22 thousand feet. So, we’ll see what happens. Enjoy your flight!

Delta Airlines flight