Programmer: I’m just saying that if, by some miracle Pat Robertson, Fred Phelps and Jerry Falwell had all died in a meteor attack…
Boss: I would convert. Right there. I’d become an instant christian.
Programmer: I would keep the sabbath holy.
Boss: I would keep the sabbath *fucking* holy. Hell, if god can manage to paralyze Paris Hilton from the waist down…
Programmer: I would start to tithe.
Boss: I would start to *fucking* tithe.
Clearview Avenue
Mesa, Arizona
Overheard by: Chris Cardinal
Director: …so, do you have any ideas why all these clips are showing up as being not on server?
Engineer: Ah, yes, it’s a procurement error. We bought shit.
201 Wood Lane
Shepherd’s Bush, London
UK
President: Hello! What are you doing today?
Director, eating canister of Planter's Peanuts: I'm eating my nuts!
Atlanta, Georgia
Boss to intern: Oh, you're from Kentucky! Is there anything important there?
Kentucky-born intern: Uh, the gold vault.
Boss: (blank stare)
Kentucky-born intern: You know, Fort Knox.
Boss: Oh, yeah! That's where they get the saying “She's locked up tighter than Fort Knox!”
Virginia Beach, Virginia
Distraught manager: My William Shatner pictures are gone! What happened to my Shats?! [Sigh] Life is like a box of crap…
720 Executive Park Drive
Greenwood, Indiana
Boss: Because Mike played that song so damn much. He had such a man crush on Justin. (pause) Yeah, but you're not a man. (pause) You're not a little, tiny man who looks like Harry Potter.
Woodinville, Washington
Boss: Did you draw on my banana?
Hofstra University
Long Island, New York
Manager to customer: At what point do you see this conversation getting any better for you?
10 Scotia Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Manager in motivational meeting: Just try brainwashing yourself sometime. There is nothing wrong with being brainwashed.
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Overheard by: the other admin
Tech manager: Okay, I gotta go finish writing this nasty gram to a client.
Account manager: Hurry up! I want puppies. Puppies! Puppies! Puppies! Oops, that sounded bad.
Rockville, Maryland
Overheard by: Cindy
