Art director: If you're going to dress like a woman, act like a woman. Put the seat down.
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: Lindsay
Coworker: So they were a nice group of girls.
Boss: Were they bright?
Coworker: Not overly. They were, umm, nice.
Boss: That's good. I like that. (both walk out the door)
Toronto
Canadia
Senior Director: Well, I hate to tell you this, but we’re going to be a week late with your report.
Client on speaker: You fuckin’ serious? The fuck you doing over there? Writing this thing in pen? Sanskrit? The fuck, man?
Senior Director: Actually, I’m chipping it away in stone…hey, don’t you worry about how I’m writing this fucking report! You’ll get it in a week. Who the fuck are you to give me an attitude
Client: Fuck you! Hurry the fuck up! We’re paying your ass, so you should be nice to me!
Senior Director: Kiss my ass!…cock eyed fuck! By the way, how is the wife doing?
51 W. 52nd Street
New York, NY
Manager: Yes, he's alive because he ate monkey shit.
Granby Street
Norfolk, Virginia
Male developer: I want to make sure the data loaded correctly, pardon me if I’m a bit anal
Female project manager: I enjoy anal.
2025 Euclid Avenue
Cleveland, Ohio
Manager: I should send you guys a screenshot of my desktop. It looks like Bill Gates threw up all over it.
17601 Brook Park Road
Brook Park, Ohio
General Manager: Wait, his ex-wife is white? What color are their children? Beige?
805 3rd Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: Eric
Manager handing name tag to an employee: These are the old name tags. We ordered new ones, but the courier who was delivering them fell off the train and died.
Ramat Gan
Israel
Overheard by: ayala
Boss on phone: That’s what I’m saying! He’s had his beer, he’s had his Vegas, he’s a Muslim, and I’m going to hell.
1st Street
Los Angeles, California
Coworker to boss: I think I found someone. She is the president of the mortuary science club, she has a ton of experience.
Boss: Perfect.
Manhattan, New York
