Peon #1, reading spam title out loud: “…all wet and pink…”
Peon #2: Are they talking about a flamingo?
Palmer Street
Missoula, Montana
Peon #1, reading spam title out loud: “…all wet and pink…”
Peon #2: Are they talking about a flamingo?
Palmer Street
Missoula, Montana
Manager: We’re getting married in Gibraltar.
Designer: Oh, that sounds nice.
Manager: You know, you’ve heard of Gibraltar. Rocks… Monkeys… Except I don’t like monkeys. I don’t want monkeys in my wedding!
UNC-Chapel Hill
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Art director: Do these look like vaginas to you?
Research manager: Actually, it could be shrimp cocktail.
Seventh Avenue
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Where’s the horseradish?
Boss: So, where did Mike* go?
Underling: He had to go home. Some pet emergency. He said there’s an unidentified liquid coming out of his cat’s ass.
Boss: Well, that’s an excuse I’ve never heard before…
Cypress Street
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: I didn’t need to know that
CFO: So what will it be like? Should I be the sheep and you the one who drags me around? Oh, here’s the check.
New York City, New York
Overheard by: just waiting for a check
Associate: No, I don’t eat dog food. Maybe I used to…
Vernon Hills, Illinois
Overheard by: just buying candy
Stable employee: Oh, there’s a reason all the horses’ names start with the letter Q. It’s ’cause we go through the alphabet — each year gets a different letter — so this year all the horses get named with the letter Q. So, like, last year was all P names, the year before it was O names, and next year it will be T… No, wait, U… S…? Hang on… P, Q, S, R… R, S — that’s it. Next year they all get R names.
Thebarton, Adelaide
Australia
Manager: If man were meant to wear pants, then dogs would wear pants, too.
Kane Hall, University of Washington
Seattle, Washington
Lab worker #1: Murder only applies to humans. It’s a term specific to us.
Lab worker #2: You can’t ‘murder’ a dream?
Lab worker #1: You can’t murder baby cows.
Lab worker #2: What about cats?
Lab worker #1: No. Cats can’t be murdered… Unless they?re half-cat, half-person.
Lab worker #2: Then it’s half murder.
Lab worker #1: Even if it’s premeditated, it’s knocked back to manslaughter. That?s probably why the cat people think we’re biased against them, but really it’s just that the legal system wasn?t set up with them in mind. [Silence.] I’ve thought about this a lot.
Durham, North Carolina
Vet on phone: He’s a little groggy now, but he should be one-eyed and bushy-tailed tomorrow morning.
Route 5
Norwich, Vermont
Overheard by: has two-eyed cats
