File clerk #1: How dare you call me lazy!
File clerk #2: What?
File clerk #1: You said I was lazy on the phone!
File clerk #2: I did not! I said you were crazy! Not lazy!
File clerk #1: Oh, okay, I am sorry!
Phoenix, Arizona
File clerk #1: How dare you call me lazy!
File clerk #2: What?
File clerk #1: You said I was lazy on the phone!
File clerk #2: I did not! I said you were crazy! Not lazy!
File clerk #1: Oh, okay, I am sorry!
Phoenix, Arizona
Innocent female hospital coworker: What does “coitus” mean?
Devious male hospital coworker: Gee, I'm not sure, why don't you google it?
Innocent female hospital coworker: Okay, I'll check wikipedia. (does so, then screams and covers computer screen with both hands, averting her eyes)
Devious male hospital coworker, laughing hysterically: Is something wrong?
Innocent female hospital coworker, still covering screen: There are pictures!
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Gerry
Co-worker #1: Hey! Stop calling me psycho!
Co-worker #2: Sorry sir, I didn’t know you could read my thoughts.
401 NW 4th Street
Evansville, Indiana
Dad: Son, do not be inept when you grow up.
Son: What is “inept”?
Dad: Ridiculously bad at your job.
Son: No promises there, dad.
Washington, Illinois
Overheard by: Laura
Co-worker on phone: I’m “kvetching”…ha, ha…well, I guess you’re kvetching…ha ha ha…we’re…ha ha…we’re kvetching together…wait, what does “kvetching” mean?
175 5th Avenue
New York, NY
Receptionist: Hey, help me with this list. The boss wants me to go to the store and get some stuff for the coffee room. You know, stuff like filters and cups and stuff. But I can’t figure out what these icet rays are.
HR clerk: Let me see the list…Sweetie, this says ice trays. You know, for the freezer to freeze water into cubes.
Receptionist: Are you sure? Because if the boss wants icet rays, that’s what I better get.
HR clerk: Well okay, if you really want icet rays, try the office supply store and make them check in the back. You may have to ask for their manager.
Receptionist: Thanks, see you in a little while.
HR clerk: You know, I should have used that opportunity to sell her a bridge.
5760 Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi
Overheard by: Brain Dancing
Accountant: Why did you switch from coffee to green tea?
Analyst: Tea is easier on my throat and it has more antioxidants.
Accountant: What are antioxidants?
Analyst: They keep me from having oxidants…Come on! That’s funny, dammit!
100 East Rivercenter Boulevard
Covington, Kentucky
CPR instructor: … And how do we tell if an infant isn’t breathing? He will flail around a little and will also turn blue or purple.
Black cop: Um, not trying to be an ass, but what if the baby is my color?
White cop: Oh yeah… That’s known as blurple.
CPR Class, Police Department
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Executive VP: How do you spell “reasoning”?
Senior VP: Just like “seasoning”, but with an “r”.
Executive VP: How do you spell “seasoning”?
Lenox Road
Atlanta, Georgia
Co-worker #1: It’s not always good to be the squeaky wheel.
Co-worker #2: Yeah, you really have to pick and choose your squeaky wheels.
833 Chestnut Street East
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
