Office guy: I was using the adjective, not the dwarf.
Manhattan, New York
Office guy: I was using the adjective, not the dwarf.
Manhattan, New York
Sales guy: They need to either shit or go home!
Somerville, Massachusetts
Admin: You know that guy upstairs? Dan*? He pinched me with a pair of tweezers on that fatty bit you get on your hips and it *really hurt*. So I went back and burned him with a spoon.
Crewe
England
Chiropractor to patient: We are both usually adjusting at the same time, so it is hard to pin down one another.
Englewood, Colorado
Overheard by: Receptionist
Cube neighbor, after getting off phone with daughter: Oh, my kids!
Warehouse employee, walking by: We should all kill our kids. Oh, wait, did I say that out loud?
Irvine, California
Overheard by: scared cube-dweller
Comics editor: I already got consent, now all I need to do is find a gas station.
Austin, Texas
Office worker on speakerphone: Hello.
Creepy customer: I was just sitting here eating some creamed corn and thinking about you so I thought that I would give you a call.
Office worker: Please hold and I will transfer you to my supervisor.
1st Avenue
Birmingham, Alabama
Employee accompanied by small child: I smashed it on the ground and then I hit it with a chair, and now it feels like it's on fire. It's not, but it feels that way.
Small child: (inaudible)
Employee: No, I don't think any blood's coming out.
Redmond, Washington
Accounting coworker: Nothing gets me hotter than a pivot table with five attributes.
Washington, DC
Male boss, on phone with male contractor: I'm tellin' ya, man. I need nine inches!
Wentzville, Missouri
