Manager to another: You know, sometimes you are going to just walk out to your car and it will be covered entirely in vaseline.
Dayton, Ohio
Manager to another: You know, sometimes you are going to just walk out to your car and it will be covered entirely in vaseline.
Dayton, Ohio
Store clerk to another: Next year I'm going to be totally not pregnant and I'm going to get wasted!
Richland, Missouri
Overheard by: Mac
Line cook: Man, did you fart?! Uhhh! That stinks!
Cute waitress: No, that's my breath.
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Marcus
Office girl, popping head into cubicle: Hi Jane*!
Jane: Ahhhhhhh! (frightened, ear-piercing scream that goes on for 20 seconds)
Office girl: Sh! Shh! It's me!
Jane: (carries on screaming)
Ad Agency
Singapore
Overheard by: eM
Intern on lunch break: Can I have a napkin, please?
Bored cafeteria lady, without looking up: Use your sleeve.
(intern backs away slowly)
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Fellow cubicle-dweller
Nurse: I hate you, you're so skinny.
Patient: I have Crohn's disease.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: another patient
Office philosopher: Everyone's pretty much a lesbian bike messenger in Portland, anyway.
San Diego, California
Female clerk: Did you eat yet?
Male clerk: Yeah, I’ve been here since 1:30.
Female clerk: Ooh! Then can I lint-brush you?
Convenience Store
Brighton, Massachusetts
Gossip queen: So, Nate, saw you and Erin left during lunch together. What's goin' on there?
Nate: Nothin'.
Gossip queen: Oh, I get it. Wink. (walks away)
Nate to John: When did eating lunch with someone correlate to having penetrated them? I swear to god, my reputation gets laid about 300% more than I do.
John: Wink.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: me
Old lady: I like them when they're big and juicy like that.
Older lady: Yeah, all dark and purpley, so good.
Delran, New Jersey
Overheard by: Bruce Banner
