Chick #1 to IT guy and chick #2: That fat kid on the new Shrek movie sounds weird. (in scratchy deep voice) “Do the roar!”
Chick #2: He sounds like Cartman.
Chick #1: If Cartman and Darth Sidious had a love child, that's what he'd sound like. That fat kid.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Designer: Any cat lady with a sticker-printing machine… can make stamps.
Manhattan, New York
Coworker in kitchen #1: Have you always had the problem, or have you changed you routine lately?
Coworker in kitchen #2: No, but I am on my knees a lot.
Marblehead, Massachusetts
Seaman, next to air force guys: I love Dick's! (pause) The restaurant, that is.
Airman: We always knew there was something about you seamen.
San Antonio, Texas
Overheard by: I like them too.
Office girl: My mom said she almost wrecked her car the other day because she was watching Elvis pick up trash on the side of the road. My mom said he was picking up trash in his jumpsuit, right there on the side of the road.
Office guy: Elvis was doing a little community service, was he?
Charlotte, North Carolina
Co-worker, complaining about his chapped lips: These chapped lips really suck big dick.
The Arboretum
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: El Gato
CSR: And my four-year-old was over at the church petting zoo telling the volunteers the graveyard was full of zombies that will eat everyone's brains.
Manager: You have a cool kid.
Burnsville, Minnesota
Overheard by: Smoking Break
Pretty blonde girl: Umm, excuse me, but do you have a tampon? I'm desperate.
Obese, sassy librarian: Yeah, I have one. But it's inserted.
Monson Free Library
Monson, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Sarah
Male employee: I heard you two talking about my project so I came.
Female boss: That's good, I like the way you come.
Bothell, Washington
