That's Facebook, Sir

Boss, shouting from neighboring office: Oh my god, I love those mugshots!

Los Angeles, California

Posted on April 18, 2021
Bosses, California, Crimes, Feelings, Weirdness

And I'm Still Wearing the Tutu, Aren't I?

Suit walking out of office: No, I don't want to do that. I'm far too pretty to go to prison! (whole office stops and stares at him) I just said that way too loud, didn't I?

Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: Scotty

Posted on April 13, 2021
Australia, Crimes, Physical Appearance, Questions, Suits, Weirdness

Um, All I Asked Was “What's RAM?”

IT server guy on cell: Yeah, it'll get really huge, and it'll stay like that for awhile…

Santa Clara, California

Overheard by: braingauis

Posted on April 13, 2021
Body Parts, California, On the phone, Sexuality, Tech People, Time Management, Weirdness

Why You Shouldn't Tell Your Co-Workers You Speak English

Temp #1: Are you drinking hot water?
Temp #2: With some lemon, yeah. Why?
Temp #1: Doesn't hot water make you have to crap?
Temp #2: What?
Temp #1: Hot water makes my grandmother have to crap.
Temp #2: What?

Nashville, Tennessee

Posted on April 8, 2021
Family, Health & Hygiene, Interns & Temps, Meals and Snacks, Questions, Restroom, Tennessee, Weirdness

I Knew This Tiara Was a Bad Idea.

Engineer to operations guy: You're all evil in this department. (points at administrative assistant) Especially you, you're the leader.
Administrative assistant: What?

Manhattan, New York

Posted on April 8, 2021
Admins, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Engineers, General Idiocy, New York, Weirdness

Which Is Why It Can't Be the Other Guy I Slept With

Very white girl in business suit on cell in cafeteria: No, I haven't told him yet, I just found out for sure this morning. (pause) Well, I don't have his phone number anymore, I took it out of my phone so I wouldn't drunk dial. (pause) I don't know, I know his address, so maybe I'll just send him a card. “Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm having a baby, and so are you”. (pause) Hey, maybe a singing telegram to him at work. That'll go over big. (pause) He's an elementary school teacher… that would probably get him fired. (pulls out ghetto accent) And you know my baby daddy better have hisself a job!

Princeton, New Jersey

Overheard by: Currrly!

Posted on April 5, 2021
Colors, Drinking, Family, Health & Hygiene, Hiring & Firing, New Jersey, On the phone, Rich people, Weirdness

I Cut My Lip on the Dismount, Though

Attorney: I drank 14 beers last night.
Admin: You counted?
Attorney: I counted this morning. That was a solid performance, if I do say so myself.

Pearl Street
Austin, Texas

Posted on April 3, 2021
Admins, Default, Drinking, Lawyers, Questions, Texas, Weirdness

How Natural Selection Works

Office worker #1: Hey, you can eat the wrapper of this gum!
Office worker #2: No, you can't… How do you know?
Office worker #3: Yeah, you can't. I just tried it.

Springfield, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Allison