Retail employee #1: I’m gonna have to leave early today, my friend and I are going to go and get the Wii.
Retail employee #2: Oooh, the weed? I want some!
Stonebriar Mall
Frisco, Texas
Retail employee #1: I’m gonna have to leave early today, my friend and I are going to go and get the Wii.
Retail employee #2: Oooh, the weed? I want some!
Stonebriar Mall
Frisco, Texas
Supervisor to peon: Do you know how to get rid of tracked changes on a document?
Peon: Yes, do you want to accept the changes, or reject them?
Supervisor: No, I want them gone.
Peon: Yes, but do you want them to be incorporated into the document, or do you want to reject them.
Supervisor: They can’t be there! I have to send this document out! No tracked changes!
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Allison
Boss: For an hour I’m going to do nothing but urinate. And then? Five minutes of blogging.
Los Angeles, California
Female coworker: What does “truncated” mean?
Male coworker: It’s like… If you shortened an elephant’s trunk, it would be truncated.
(pause)
Female coworker: But this e-mail doesn’t even say anything about elephants.
Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Babar
Female coworker to copy machine: You have enough paper, you bitch.
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: The New Guy
IT dork: It’s like Christmas when you get to open a new server!
Berkeley Street
Boston, Massachusetts
IT worker: If you use it a whole bunch of times it will become intuitive.
Madison, Connecticut
Male federal employee: I loved those old Startac phones because all they were was a phone. They didn’t take pictures. They didn’t predict your ovulation cycle. They just took calls!
Independence Avenue
Washington, DC
Coworker #1: So what’s your e-mail address?
Coworker #2: [Gives it to him.]Coworker #1: Cool… How did you choose that?
Coworker #2: Oh, it means “big fart” in Chinese…
Santa Rosa, California
Boss: Who is this? You have to identify yourself — my hard drive is full!
Baltimore, Maryland
