Technology

5PM That’s a Wrap

Customer: Is Office 2003 the latest version of Office that’s out?
Salesperson: Yeah, they most likely won’t come out with a new version until Vista is released, which should be about the end of the year.
Customer: What’s that?
Salesperson: Vista?
Customer: Yeah, Rista? What is that? Is that the new Office?
Salesperson: No, Vista is the new operating system that’s coming out. Last I heard Microsoft was planning to release it near the end of this year.
Customer: Microsoft’s going to sell computers now?
Salesperson: No, Vista is the operating system that gets installed on computers. It’s what makes your computer run.
Customer: Oh, yeah, I knew that already. Are you going to be carrying Microsoft’s new computers?

Willard Building
State College, Pennsylvania

…Could You Turn on My Computer for Me?

Creative director: I can't take the course because I don't have the software.
Peon: Why don't you find out what the software costs and how to get it, and submit a proposal?
Creative director: I don't know where to find that information.
Peon: Why don't you use something called “the internet” to look it up?
Creative director: You mean like go into Google and type the name of the software?
Peon: Yeah, like that.
Creative director: Oh, good idea.

Columbus, Ohio

Overheard by: Horse Whisperer

10AM Pick Up Package

Worker #1: I’m expecting my new inbox today.
Worker #2: You’re pregnant again?
Worker #1: …

6475 SW Fallbrook Place
Beaverton, Oregon

1PM Lunch

Manager: These monitors that you are getting rid of; are they any good?
Tech: They are a little fuzzy.
Manager: “A little fuzzy”? What’s “a little fuzzy”?
Tech: You know, like a hamster.

90 Sherman Street
Cambridge, Massachusetts

You Don't Bring Me Problems, You Bring Me Shooters!

Intern #1: I need to talk to you, there is an issue with a drop-down menu.
Boss: You are like the problem child I never wanted!
Intern #2: What about me?
Boss: You know a lot about alcohol.

Boylston Street
Boston, Massachusetts

Our Tastes Are Disturbingly Similar

Warehouse supervisor #1: Man, my computer at home is running slow.
Warehouse supervisor #2: Why, what's up?
Warehouse supervisor #1: I downloaded some porn but I had to delete it so my wife didn't see it.
Warehouse supervisor #2: Okay, so what's the problem now?
Warehouse supervisor #1: I found pron that was downloaded by my wife.
Warehouse supervisor #2, laughing: Guess you're not the only neglected one in the house.

California

The Office Really Hits My 3G Spot

Coworker #1: I bought my first iPhone app while on vacation. It's called Ragdoll Blaster. It's pretty good.
Coworker #2: You bought an app called Rectal Blaster?
Coworker #1: Ah, it's good to be back.

Princeton, New Jersey

11AM Outlook Training

Secretary: What does it do when it archeeves my email?
Boss: Are you serious?
Secretary: I mean, where does it go after it’s done archeeving?
Boss: Oh god.

5353 McCurry Road
Roscoe, Illinois

4PM Buy New Fax

Boss: So that fax machine is jamming again? I thought the repairman was just in here fixing it? What did he say?
Employee: No, it was that one that he fixed. You switched the faxes, right? So the good one is up here and the bad one is in the back?
Boss: No. I told you this morning that I wasn’t going to do that because your mom was coming in to fax tomorrow so we might as well just get the bad one fixed.
Employee: Who were you talking to? The repair guy? Are you sure you were talking to me?
Boss: No, I was talking to the post.

18 Sycamore Avenue
Ho-Ho-Kus, New Jersey

Overheard by: GrIzZlEbEe!!!

12PM Call My Best Friends: Maintenance

IT: Yeah, seems like your floor plate is damaged, you’re going to have to clear your books so they can fix it.
Worker: “Books”? is that like cookies on your computer?
IT: …

4 Times Square
New York, NY

Overheard by: KaotiXX

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