Technology

What Happens When You Think About Things that Don’t Bear Thinking About

IT guy: Oh, good I’m back to the top of your favorite people list.
Sales assistant: What? William* the hot A/C guy got bumped down?
IT guy: William’s gone; he’s off the list.
Sales guy: Isn’t William a gerbil?
Sales assistant: That’s my gerbil! We’re talking about the A/C guy now.
Sales guy: Ask Peter* about gerbil; he likes ’em.
IT guy: Ed breeds the gerbils.
Sales guy: I breed them just for you. Hairless, clawless gerbils.
Peter: Edsgerbils.com!
Sales guy: You don’t want one with claws..
Peter: Go to Edsgerbils.com to get your hairless gerbils.
Sales guy: Don’t forget clawless… you don’t want one with claws.
Office Manager: Stop with the gerbils.
Sales guy, to himself: No… don’t want one with claws….

8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

Barbie Strikes Again!

Web designer: I need you to print out 65 of those PowerPoint presentations I created.
Graphic designer: How many?
Web designer: 65.
Graphic designer: Okay. Let me write this down. I'm not good at math.

Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: Looks Like Diva

No Wonder the Pages Get Upset with Us

Boss: G-mail chat is like the grown-up, mature version of AIM, even though we still talk about pee-pee and poo-poo.

2 Massachusetts Avenue
Washington, DC

You’re There for Yourself, Not the PC

Guy #1: eHarmony. Maybe I should try that.
Guy #2: You’d have to know how to log on to a computer first.

190 N. Main Street
Roanoke, Indiana

Especially You, Rico

Old drone: I'm not computer suave-y like you all…

Navy Yard
Washington, DC

9AM It’s Too Early for This

Woman: There’s something wrong with my computer. There are satellites
and things floating around! Why did you work on my computer? I thought you were done. I have to get my work done! Do you know what you are doing! Fix it!
IT gal: Okay, let me see. I did not work on your system today, let me
look.

Mouse click.

IT gal: …It’s the screensaver.

4411 Beacon Circle
West Palm Beach, Florida

5PM That’s a Wrap

Customer: Is Office 2003 the latest version of Office that’s out?
Salesperson: Yeah, they most likely won’t come out with a new version until Vista is released, which should be about the end of the year.
Customer: What’s that?
Salesperson: Vista?
Customer: Yeah, Rista? What is that? Is that the new Office?
Salesperson: No, Vista is the new operating system that’s coming out. Last I heard Microsoft was planning to release it near the end of this year.
Customer: Microsoft’s going to sell computers now?
Salesperson: No, Vista is the operating system that gets installed on computers. It’s what makes your computer run.
Customer: Oh, yeah, I knew that already. Are you going to be carrying Microsoft’s new computers?

Willard Building
State College, Pennsylvania

…Could You Turn on My Computer for Me?

Creative director: I can't take the course because I don't have the software.
Peon: Why don't you find out what the software costs and how to get it, and submit a proposal?
Creative director: I don't know where to find that information.
Peon: Why don't you use something called “the internet” to look it up?
Creative director: You mean like go into Google and type the name of the software?
Peon: Yeah, like that.
Creative director: Oh, good idea.

Columbus, Ohio

Overheard by: Horse Whisperer

10AM Pick Up Package

Worker #1: I’m expecting my new inbox today.
Worker #2: You’re pregnant again?
Worker #1: …

6475 SW Fallbrook Place
Beaverton, Oregon

1PM Lunch

Manager: These monitors that you are getting rid of; are they any good?
Tech: They are a little fuzzy.
Manager: “A little fuzzy”? What’s “a little fuzzy”?
Tech: You know, like a hamster.

90 Sherman Street
Cambridge, Massachusetts

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