Technology

Email: Let's welcome Joe Smith to the company. He will report to Bill Scott.
Copywriter #1: I find it distressing when I don't recognize the names of the supervisors. Are you sure Mr. Scott isn't really a robot?
Copywriter #2: Mr. Scott has been with this organization for at least three years. He is not a robot…or if he is, they did a damn good job making him look human.
Copywriter #3: Sounds like something a fembot would say.

Wausau, Wisconsin

Office lady to another: And that's why I think god created technology.

Puyallup, Washington

Cube rat #1: You’ve got to be shitting me… My grandma is trying to add me on MySpace.
Cube rat #2: That’s sort of sweet.
Cube rat #1: I’m her second friend. I didn’t know she knew what a computer was…
Cube rat #2: Dude, pop her comment cherry!

1932 Wildcat Canyon Road
San Diego, California

Office girl: So, are you psyching yourself up to play the show tonight?
Office guy: Um, if by ‘psyching’ you mean ‘writing code,’ then yes, I am.

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Naomi

Co-worker #1: I’m not sure that’s right, though. I pulled it out of my database.
Co-worker #2: Is that what you call your ass, sir, a database?

2000 Navy Pentagon
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Salted Fish

Aggravated nurse, complaining about slave monitor malfunction: Can someone come help me with this goddamn thing again?
Helpful, tech-savvy male nurse: What's the matter?
Aggravated nurse: My slave is black!

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Speechless, blinking….

Accounting: I mean, I know how to use Excel. Just not for spreadsheets and stuff.

525 Rudder Road
Fenton, Missouri

Marketing guy: I don’t want you IT guys wasting a lot of time figuring out what’s wrong before you fix it!

228 East 86th Street
New York, NY

Co-worker #1: Does she always send emails in 72 point font?
Co-worker #2: Oh, that’s “mad” typing.
Co-worker #1: How should I respond to this?
Co-worker #3: You should reply using 86 point font.
Co-worker #2: They don’t make 86 point font. I’ve tried it before. You should use 8 point font in Bernhard Fashion BT or some other font that’s hard to read.
Co-worker #1: Yeah, I’ll do that. She won’t be able to read it.
Co-worker #2: That’ll really piss her off.

620 Greison Trail
Newnan, Georgia

Boss: Can you come help me with this Excel thing? I deleted something that I needed.
Admin: Okay. Well, you should just click “undo”.
Boss: What's “clickundo”?

Dayton, Oregon

Overheard by: glad to be in a different department