Patricia: Sometimes, and it depends on the day I'm having, I am either “Positive Patty” or “Pessimistic Patricia.”
IT chick: Yeah? Sometimes, and it depends on the day I'm having, I put whiskey in my coffee.
University of Rochester, New York
Overheard by: Jennay
IT manager: Start sharpening your ruler cause you’re gonna need an office shank!
Waterloo
Canadia
Jaded tech writer: I’m just enabling you, man. And for what? For Egg McMuffins, man.
Tigard, Oregon
Overheard by: Sasha
Nurse: It didn’t hurt my tongue when they pierced it–just that first pop.
Tech: Ooooh, my asshole just puckered up!
Receptionist: Quit talking about tongues and assholes!
Front Desk, Medical Clinic
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: xrayguy
Tech worker: Are you seriously saying that eight inches is not a big dump?
Willow
Lansing, Michigan
Lab tech: He needs to retake the drug screening.
Nurse: Why? He said he was ready to give a urine sample.
Lab tech: Well… How do I put this delicately? He did give us *a* sample… Just not the kind we needed.
Nurse: Wait, you mean… he… Oh my god! How the hell did he poop in that cup? I am impressed!
Lab tech: Yea, I kinda am to.
Hospital
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: Workin’ here for the insurance
IT guy with thick Middle Eastern accent: No Phil*, they are Canadian, they don’t know what they are talking about anyway.
Sprint Headquarters
Overland Park, Kansas
IT dork: It’s like Christmas when you get to open a new server!
Berkeley Street
Boston, Massachusetts
IT guy to IT manager: Nice shoes, are they new?
IT manager: Yeah, but they’re too clean and white. They need to be scuffed up more.
IT guy: You know what they should do? They should make the seven-year old Taiwanese kids who sew these wear them for a few days first.
IT manager: Yeah, that’s perfect. Pre-scuffed shoes. They’d be flopping around in shoes way too big, but at least they’d have shoes for a few days.
Good Hope Road
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
DBA to male co-worker: I want service! I’m coming to you to be serviced!
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: I thought that belonged in the men’s room…
