If He Promises Not to Bogart the Spliff, Like Last Time

Indian developer to Russian-Jewish developer: When you're sitting with Jesus are you going to smoke dope?

State Street
New York City, New York

Overheard by: Brad

Posted on October 24, 2008
Death, New York, Religion, Substance Use & Abuse, Tech People

Ooo, Sacrilege!

Annoying IT guy behind partition: Yo, dude, I need god status on this site so I can make changes.(laughs to himself) Hey, I need god status. (another employee enters the room) Hey, yo, I need god status on this site. God status. (laughs again)
Quiet IT girl on other side of partition: Shut up!

Raleigh, North Carolina

Posted on October 16, 2008
Comebacks, North Carolina, Offers and requests, Religion, Tech People

Louise, I Think This Is the Beginning of a Beautiful Friendship

Patricia: Sometimes, and it depends on the day I'm having, I am either “Positive Patty” or “Pessimistic Patricia.”
IT chick: Yeah? Sometimes, and it depends on the day I'm having, I put whiskey in my coffee.

University of Rochester, New York

Overheard by: Jennay

Posted on August 1, 2008
Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, Drinking, Education, Feelings, Names, New York, Tech People

Unless You Want to End Up As Marketing’s Bitch

IT manager: Start sharpening your ruler cause you’re gonna need an office shank!

Waterloo
Canadia

Posted on July 30, 2008
Advice, Canadia, Default, Tech People

Think Of The Killing Fields With American Cheese

Jaded tech writer: I’m just enabling you, man. And for what? For Egg McMuffins, man.

Tigard, Oregon

Overheard by: Sasha

Posted on July 11, 2008
Default, Meals and Snacks, Offers and requests, Oregon, Tech People

I Was Planning on Having a Tossed Salad for Lunch

Nurse: It didn’t hurt my tongue when they pierced it–just that first pop.
Tech: Ooooh, my asshole just puckered up!
Receptionist: Quit talking about tongues and assholes!

Front Desk, Medical Clinic
Omaha, Nebraska

Overheard by: xrayguy

Posted on July 1, 2008
Body Parts, Compare and contrast, Default, Medical, Nebraska, Nurses, Offers and requests, Receptionists, Sensory Experiences, Tech People

Depends– Do You Seriously Measure Them?

Tech worker: Are you seriously saying that eight inches is not a big dump?

Willow
Lansing, Michigan

Posted on July 1, 2008
Coworkers, Default, Michigan, Questions, Tech People, Weirdness

That’s a Sobriety Test in and of Itself

Lab tech: He needs to retake the drug screening.
Nurse: Why? He said he was ready to give a urine sample.
Lab tech: Well… How do I put this delicately? He did give us *a* sample… Just not the kind we needed.
Nurse: Wait, you mean… he… Oh my god! How the hell did he poop in that cup? I am impressed!
Lab tech: Yea, I kinda am to.

Hospital
Columbus, Ohio

Overheard by: Workin’ here for the insurance

Posted on June 19, 2008
Compare and contrast, Default, Feelings, General Idiocy, Health & Hygiene, Medical, Nurses, Ohio, Tech People, Weirdness

They Don’t Even Know It’s Spelled ‘Canadia’

IT guy with thick Middle Eastern accent: No Phil*, they are Canadian, they don’t know what they are talking about anyway.

Sprint Headquarters
Overland Park, Kansas

Posted on June 3, 2008
Default, Employees, Geography & History, Insults, Kansas, Service, Tech, Tech People

Tech People