Suits

Apparently “Make Stuffing” Is an Arcane Insult in North Carolina

(scientist gets in a packed elevator)
Scientist: I can’t believe it’s this busy the day before Thanksgiving.
Secretary: Surprisingly.
Scientist: I said: “I can’t believe it’s this busy!” It’s the day before Thanksgiving!
Tech: It’s actually two days from Thanksgiving.
Scientist: I’m going to go home and make my turkey tonight. Have it ready for the family!
Suit: What a good idea. You should make the stuffing with it, save time.
(scientist smiles, gets off)
Tech: That wasn’t nice.
Suit: He farted while in an elevator, I don’t care.

Extremely Small Elevator
Research Triangle Park, North Carolina

Young People Have Lost Touch With the Old Ways

Suit at bistro: There are some things a shoe tree can not fix.

Gainesville, Florida

Overheard by: BumbleBree

A Little Accident with the Stove… Why?

9 to 5-er: I’ve smelled burnt human, and it doesn’t smell like chicken.

Austin, Texas

Why Don’t You Give It to Me Now So I Can Call You Later and Get It from You

Suit #1: Why didn’t you call me?
Suit #2: I didn’t have your number.
Suit #1: If you called me I could have given it to you.

32nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey

Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer

Don’t Forget to Order Flowers for Sunday!

Suit #1: So your mother thinks the tsunami is what’s causing the bad weather in California?
Suit #2: You never know, she may be right.
Suit #3: Mother is always right…Mother knows best…

30 E. 33rd Street
New York, NY

11AM Interior Design

Suit #1: Dude, you should have a sex room in your new place!
Suit #2: I do. It’s my bedroom.
Suit #1: No, I mean one room that is just wall-to-wall matresses and shit.

45 Wall Street
New York, New York

Overheard by: Trey Givens

12PM Send Jeff a Card

Guy in suit: Hey man, I heard you got promoted?
Guy in lab coat: Yep. I’m pretty much all herpes now.
Guy in suit: Excellent.

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
1600 Clifton Road
Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Benay Tegoo

I Hear They Get Great Benefits

Woman in suit: I’m doing prostitution now.

441 4th Street NW
Washington, DC

Overheard by: David

Hey, Those Shackles Were for Our Safety

(at a three day workshop)
Suit #1: I don’t think I can sit through another afternoon of this.
Suit #2: It’s not as bad as yesterday. I’m finding it quite interesting.
Suit #1: That’s what you call Stockholm Syndrome, when you start to love your kidnapper.

Istanbul
Turkey

Who Was That, by the Way?

Suit #1: Good morning, pal!
Suit #2: I'm not your pal…
Suit #1: Well, sure you are, buddy!
Suit #2: Look, my day would be far less painful if you'd stop referring to me using synonyms of “friend.” M'kay?
Suit #1: Sure thing, friend!
(Suit #2 storms out)
Suit #3: That's a new record…fifteen seconds!

Bank
Glasgow
Scotland

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