A Golden Shower

Suit on phone: Yeah, you better remember how to take a shower.

59 Camelot Drive
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: Sorry, I’m washing my hair tonight

Posted on November 23, 2019
Canadia, Health & Hygiene, Suits

White Collar Always Means Class

Businessman: I painted her bedroom. She picked this ugly red color.
Businesslady: You know, you could hire someone for like $100 to do
that.
Businessman: It’s one little bedroom. It’s not like I’m handicapped.

350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY

Posted on November 18, 2019
Gripes, Money, New York, Suits

My Escalatude Will Be Mighty!

Angry suit: If you can’t get this done I’m gonna escalate it! I don’t know to whom, or how, but I’m gonna escalate it!

Charlotte, North Carolina

Overheard by: Good Luck With That

Posted on November 15, 2019
Default, North Carolina, Offers and requests, Suits, Threats

Once We Manage to Think Something, We’ll Know What It Is We Think

Suit #1: We need a visualization of the vision so we can see the motion and apply it to the organization.
Suit #2: Right!

World Financial Center
New York, New York

Overheard by: misspygmy

Posted on October 9, 2019
General Idiocy, New York, Sensory Experiences, Suits, Words

Or Will We Finally Get a Taste?

Suit to a group of coworkers who just crowded into elevator: Do you think we’ll get to talk about Matt’s nuggets at this morning’s meeting?

SoMa
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Green

Posted on August 7, 2019
California, Coworkers, Default, Meetings, Office Politics, Questions, Substance Use & Abuse, Suits

Like Stimulants and Depressants?

Female suit to employee: I'm a weird person and I'm in a weird mood today, so you'd think they'd cancel each other out.

Iowa City, Iowa

Posted on June 4, 2019
Crazies, Employees, General Idiocy, Iowa, Suits, Weirdness

Danny Here Takes Care of Exasturbating the Boss

Ditzy intern: I know you’re busy so I’m not going to exasturbate things…
Suit: Oh, not at all… In fact, better that you exasturbate me than the boss.

1901 Main Street
Columbia, South Carolina

Posted on November 10, 2018
Interns & Temps, Language barrier, South Carolina, Suits

Apparently “Make Stuffing” Is an Arcane Insult in North Carolina

(scientist gets in a packed elevator)
Scientist: I can’t believe it’s this busy the day before Thanksgiving.
Secretary: Surprisingly.
Scientist: I said: “I can’t believe it’s this busy!” It’s the day before Thanksgiving!
Tech: It’s actually two days from Thanksgiving.
Scientist: I’m going to go home and make my turkey tonight. Have it ready for the family!
Suit: What a good idea. You should make the stuffing with it, save time.
(scientist smiles, gets off)
Tech: That wasn’t nice.
Suit: He farted while in an elevator, I don’t care.

Extremely Small Elevator
Research Triangle Park, North Carolina