Suit: Excuse me, can you help me pick out a docking station?
IT Girl: Isn’t that a personal decision?
1700 N. Beauregard Street
Alexandria, Virginia
Suit: Excuse me, can you help me pick out a docking station?
IT Girl: Isn’t that a personal decision?
1700 N. Beauregard Street
Alexandria, Virginia
Suit, about lady smoking crack on stoop: Isn’t she a little dressed up for a crackwhore?
3008 Lincoln Boulevard
Santa Monica, California
Overheard by: Not smoking any
Suit to intern: Why don't you have your boyfriend dig you out?
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Suit #1: Well, you’ve heard more than I have. I can think of three candidates, then.
Suit #2: And one very close to you.
Suit #1: Yes.
Suit #2: There’s Bill.
Suit #1: Yes.
Suit #2: And Mark.
Suit #1: Yes.
Suit #2: And that good-looking guy from Connecticut, the one with the hair.
Suit #1: Right.
Suit #2: Hmm.
140 Broadway
New York, NY
Suit #1: Hey, did the DB team ever send you that data for your report?
Suit #2: No.
Suit #1: Can't you just make up the numbers?
Suit #2: I would, but I already made up 60% of the numbers in the report.
Suit #1: 60%?
Suit #2: Yeah, generally 40% of the numbers in a report have to be accurate. It's an accepted standard.
Cleveland, Ohio
Suit on cell: Can I call you back in a minute? I’m about to, uh, walk the lizard. Okay, bye.
Guy in stall: It’s ‘drain the lizard,’ you idiot.
534 Broad Hollow Road
Melville, New York
Overheard by: Super Mike
Suit: Well, if a tiny old Korean tried to grab my sack, I’d probably want to jump him, too.
5850 Canoga
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Legal Ho’
Female suit #1: And after that, I told him that he can do whatever he wants, but in that case we are never kissing again.
Female suit #2: Some lines just shouldn't be crossed.
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Remex
Suit: Okay, so we will have the guy wearing an “I brake for whales” t-shirt?
Client: Are you aware that whales live in the ocean?
Suit: Yes.
Client: How can someone brake for a whale?
Suit: [Silence.]
175 5th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Ave Chitenmyhair
Suit #1: How did your glasses break?
Suit #2: A big girl sat on them.
Suit #1: Next time take them off your face first.
3 2nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
