Suit walking out of office: No, I don't want to do that. I'm far too pretty to go to prison! (whole office stops and stares at him) I just said that way too loud, didn't I?
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Scotty
Suit walking out of office: No, I don't want to do that. I'm far too pretty to go to prison! (whole office stops and stares at him) I just said that way too loud, didn't I?
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Scotty
Suit on cell: I’m going home and changing into shorts. It’s so hot out there I need to throw up.
Washington Mutual
Livermore, California
Overheard by: Stephen
Suit #1: Well, what about Harry*? We could put him on the local board. He has a lot of connections around the city.
Suit #2: Wait, didn’t he just get out of prison?
Suit #3: Eh, he’s paid his debt to society. Plus, I’m sure he’s looking for a job.
Conference room
New York, New York
Lackey: So that’s your wife, huh?
Suit: Yep.
Lackey: She’s a grade-school teacher?
Suit: Yes.
Lackey: She looks like that one that had sex with her thirteen-year-old student.
275 West Wisconsin Avenue
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Suit: We need that information RSVP.
Minion: Uh, ASAP?
Suit: I don’t think so.
Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Joe
Businesslady: Where the hell is my charger, did I leave it at the office? I thought I put it in, but…Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to talk to myself.
TSA lady: Well, that’s OK, Sugar. Sometimes we have to talk to ourselves because we’re the only ones who can understand.
Sky Harbor Airport
Phoenix, Arizona
Female suit: So I was on the elevator with him, and had to explain to Roger Ailes why I was in a bra and panties.
FOX News Headquarters
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Newsbunny
Suit: We are going to have to leverage everything in order to shift gears.
Employee: What?
615 Third Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: Dwight Scott
EA: …she’s still learning to change a diaper and all that.
Suit: Really?
EA: Yeah, but it’s been extra hard emotionally because our family is really strict and my dad still can’t admit to himself that this happened. All he’s said is, “I sent you to private school! Don’t they have sex ed there?” and “How could this happen?” Which doesn’t help her at all.
Suit: No, probably not.
EA: It’s like, “Dad, the baby is already here, get a grip.” But, well, she’s the baby of the family and I guess we all know how fathers are.
Suit: No, actually, I don’t. I never met mine.
40 IDX Drive
South Burlington, Vermont
Overheard by: Bubble Wrap THIS
Suit: How do you spell “dyslexia”? I keep mixing up the letters.
3 Second Street
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
