Customer: How much is a sheeet of 100 24-cent stamps?
Clerk: $24.00.
Customer: Okay, I'll take a sheet.
Clerk: I don't have a sheet of 100. Will a roll of 100 be okay?
Customer: I don't know. How much is that?
Clerk: $24.00.
US Post Office
Newton, Kansas
Waitress: Can I ask you something? This customer wants two eggs. But he wants them fried. Do we even do that here?
Manager: Um, yes. Actually most eggs are fried. There’s over easy, sunny side up, over hard…
Waitress: Oh, really? OK. Whatever.
30th & Walnut Streets
Boulder, Colorado
Overheard by: Just having oatmeal
Woman yelling to husband over cell phone, with look of horror in her eyes: *Bob? Bob?!? Bob, are you crying? Are you crying, bob?!? Yes, I need stamps. 100 of them.
University Place
Stamford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Studs
Supervisor to manager: You know I’m leaving work early today, right?
Manager: That’s right… For what, again?
Supervisor: I’m getting my cat shaved.
(pause)
Supervisor: My cat… like, our pet cat. A feline.
Ambassador East Hotel
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: laughing one cubicle over
Manager: So yeah, you’ve got a bit of an accent there, are you from here?
Kinko’s guy: Yeah, I mean, no, not really, I lived in Ireland until I was 3, and my family still has a pretty heavy tongue.
Manager: REALLY? That’s fascinating! Can you speak some Irish for me?
Kinko’s guy: ‘hello’?
3374 W Tharpe Street
Tallahassee, Florida
Overheard by: laughed out loud and totally busted my own eavesdropping
Coworker on the phone: No, sir, I am doing everything I can… Sir, you aren’t listening… Sir, as I have already said… Sir… I’m gonna kick you in yo’ head!
40th Street and 5th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: New to the company
Cube guy #1: Hey, I got that ointment you mentioned last night.
Cube guy #2: Oh yeah, did it go away?
Cube guy #1: Well, you know … It never really “goes away”.
Internet Company
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: Cube Guru
WeightWatchers at Work leader: Today our topic is going to be “Eating Out and Not Blowing It.”
Washington, DC
Overheard by: But what if I need the protein?
Deli employee #1: That sandwich needs pickles.
(deli employee #2 hangs head and stops making sandwich)
Deli employee #1: Are you crying?
Wawa
West Chester, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Rachael
Window washer #1, singing: I will survive, I will survive!
Window washer #2: Yehaw, that’s right, we will survive!
Window washer #1, singing: As long as I know how to wash I know I’ll stay alive.
Window washer #2: Stay alive! That’s the deal, yeeehaw!!
Jackson
Seattle, Washington
