Coworker #1: Yes, I am so sick of this dog… and I haven't even taken it home yet.
Coworker #2: Wait until it starts peeing and pooping all over the place. Puppies do that until you get them trained.
Coworker #1: I wish it could just watch a tape and be trained.
River Road
Conshohocken, Pennsylvania
Phil: I just got back from the restroom… Harry was in a stall talking to somebody on the cell phone while shitting. Farting and flushing and talking. Then he didn't even wash his hands on the way out. Remind me to never ever ever borrow his phone.
Dan: I couldn't talk to somebody and poop at the same time. My poop time is my private time.
Huntsville, Alabama
Office girl #1: So this girl I don't know walks in on me while I'm in the shower and says “Oh, don't worry, I'm an ex-stripper so I've seen it all.”
Office girl #2: Oh my god, what?!
Main Street
Akron, Ohio
VP on phone: What are you doing? (silence) Sounds like you’re taking a shit.
Springfield, Massachusetts
Suit on cell in bathroom stall: I’m in the crapper, takin’ a dump and I was thinking about you, so I thought I’d call.
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Boss: For an hour I’m going to do nothing but urinate. And then? Five minutes of blogging.
Los Angeles, California
Sales exec, hurrying to the bathroom: Wish me luck with this one, I’m gonna need it!
Queensbury, New York
Boss walking by office at 6 pm: Oh, you guys are still here? I just went to the bathroom with the door open.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Office drone: Ahhhh crap! I peed on the floor. If I knew I was going to pee on the floor today, I’d never have come to work.
From within a Stall in the Men’s Restroom, Office Building
Rochester, Minnesota
Male peon: I hope you locked the door. If you didn’t, some hobo is gonna use my car as his bathroom.
Lady peon: You’re a hobo’s bathroom!
1255 Hempstead Turnpike
Uniondale, New York
Overheard by: glad i keep my doors locked
