Co-worker #1: Oh my god, he’s peeing under my desk.
Co-worker #2: Oh! Sorry.
Co-worker #1: Where’s the tissue? Paper towels or something? He’s leaking, take him outside. I’m serious.
Co-worker #2: Don’t freak out!
Co-worker #1: I’m not mad, I’m just grossed out.
12345 World Trade Drive
San Diego, California
Programmer returning from extended bathroom break: You know, I don’t want to include too much information, but my pants fit much better now.
1900 Richmond Road
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: The Surly Programmer
Male office drone: Aaahhhh! The female urinal!
Perth
Australia
Admin #1: I would really like to take a solid shit one of these days.
Admin #2: Mud butt?
Admin #1: Total.
Admin #2: Hmmmm.
Admin #2: More fiber is needed.
Admin #1: What has a lot of fiber in it?
Admin #2: I don't know…let me look.
Richfield, Minnesota
Female office drone #1 to #2: No, because I don't wait until the last minute to pee!
Female office drone #2: Well, I do.
Female office drone #1 : Well, that's on you, crazy!
Southfield, Michigan
Sales guy: They need to either shit or go home!
Somerville, Massachusetts
Kitchen grunt: You ever poop and suddenly find the world a better place?
Main Street
Greenwood, Indiana
Overheard by: RDC
Female coworker #1: Are your poops big?
Female coworker #2: Well, I don’t exactly examine…
Female coworker #1: Well, compare your big poop to something in real life.
Female coworker #2: This is ridiculous.
Female coworker #1: No, I’m serious.
Female coworker #2: I don’t know, an egg?
Female coworker #1: How many eggs?
Female coworker #2: Three, four?
Female coworker #1: Well, my big poop is like the size of a Nalgene water bottle.
Gladstone Avenue & Galena Boulevard
Aurora, Illinois
Overheard by: Just Trying to Eat My Lunch
Employee, singing on the way down the hall: I need to change my tammmmmponnnnn
Coalinga, California
Crazy coworker, on saving money: You can live without toilet paper, because you could just use Kleenex instead, but you can't live without steak!
Collegeville, Pennsylvania
