Restroom

1PM System Overload

CSR on phone: Help desk, this is James*.
[pause] CSR: I am sorry, this is the PC and phone help desk. Sounds like you need the facilities help desk if a toilet is stopped up.
[pause] CSR: Okay sir, I understand, but you need facilites, not the help desk.
[long pause] CSR: Okay, is it a Windows toilet or a Unix toilet?
Customer, now on speakerphone: Well, there are no windows in this bathroom, so I guess it must be a Unix toilet.
CSR: Okay, I will get a Unix toilet specialist there as soon as we can. Which building and bathroom is it?
[pause] CSR: Thanks.
[CSR hangs up] CSR back on phone: Hello, facilities? This is James at the PC help desk. Yeah, I have a doozy for you…try not to laugh…

730 International Parkway
Richardson, Texas

Overheard by: El Gee

9AM Work Stinks

I was sitting at the reception desk in my office and the main door leading to the hallway and elevators was propped open. I could not see into the hallway, but I could hear a man and a woman talking as they waited for the elevator. Eventually the elevator door opened and one of them got on. As soon as the door closed the other person not only let out a huge sigh of relief but also the biggest fart I have ever heard. I thought I was going to die I laughed so hard.

400 Park Avenue
New York, NY

Overheard by: Melissa Berry

10AM Catch Up!

Office worker #1: My goodness, I have so much work that even if I stayed at work 24 hours it still wouldn’t even put a dent in my workload.
Office worker #2: Wow, you have that much work?
Office worker #1: No…it’s just that I’m always too busy farting around to get any work done.

475 Anton Boulevard
Costa Mesa, California

Overheard by: Remy Rawrs

But Both Refer to Themselves in the Third Person

Office guy, complaining about his recent camping trip: Bears may do that in the woods, but Alex* does not.

Springdale, Arkansas

Why There’s a Mother’s Day

Woman checking child’s diaper: I just stuck my finger in your poop! Now I’ll have to bleach my hand.

2401 Utah Avenue
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: lastikgirl

Dude!

Drone #1: Every time Tina* leaves her office, I pop in there and rat out a fart.
Drone #2: Dude!
Drone #1: When she made me work the weekend, I pissed in all her plants and wiped my ass on her mouse pad.

Circle Center Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Shatmandu

But at Least You Stop Having Periods

Patient to neurologist, exiting examination room: Yes, it really makes you wonder if it's worth it to go on, if you're just going to end up a horrible vampire.

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: so true

If Only Israelis and Palestinians Could Share One Big Bathroom

Man standing at urinal: (farts while peeing)
Other man at urinal: At least we have something in common!

Training Center
Bridgeport, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Not My Kind of Bonding Experience

3PM Meeting

Employee #1: Where the hell were you?
Employee #2: In the bathroom.
Employee #1: For twenty minutes? God, I thought you were sleeping with the feces.

320 17 Avenue SW
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia

The Feral Employee Works for Low Wages, but May Need to Be Housebroken

Student worker #1: Seriously, why?
Student worker #2: Because I was too lazy to go to the bathroom.
Student worker #1: Were you that drunk again?

New Brunswick, New Jersey

Overheard by: I Hate Student Help

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