Restroom

Woman checking child’s diaper: I just stuck my finger in your poop! Now I’ll have to bleach my hand.

2401 Utah Avenue
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: lastikgirl

Drone #1: Every time Tina* leaves her office, I pop in there and rat out a fart.
Drone #2: Dude!
Drone #1: When she made me work the weekend, I pissed in all her plants and wiped my ass on her mouse pad.

Circle Center Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Shatmandu

Patient to neurologist, exiting examination room: Yes, it really makes you wonder if it's worth it to go on, if you're just going to end up a horrible vampire.

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: so true

Man standing at urinal: (farts while peeing)
Other man at urinal: At least we have something in common!

Training Center
Bridgeport, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Not My Kind of Bonding Experience

Employee #1: Where the hell were you?
Employee #2: In the bathroom.
Employee #1: For twenty minutes? God, I thought you were sleeping with the feces.

320 17 Avenue SW
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia

Student worker #1: Seriously, why?
Student worker #2: Because I was too lazy to go to the bathroom.
Student worker #1: Were you that drunk again?

New Brunswick, New Jersey

Overheard by: I Hate Student Help

Coworker to office: I love poo: poo is my favorite subject!

Belfast
Northern Ireland

Overheard by: Ally Beare

Photo person cleaning out pump nozzle of green hand sanitizer: This is just like picking boogers out of a toddler!

Prudential Plaza
Chicago, Illinois

Co-worker: So I said to myself, “Oh look, the bathrooms in building 12 have yellow tiles.” Then I saw the urinals.

1110 American Parkway NE
Allentown, Pennsylvania

(toilet, stall to the left)
Coworker: Corn? Corn? When did I have corn?

Harrisburg , Pennsylvania

Overheard by: in between stalls