Restroom

Suit on cell: I went across the street to the Chinese/Thai food place for lunch, and not everything afterwards went according to plan. I've spent enough time in the bathroom this afternoon to finish reading a book. I know you weren't necessarily dying for that information, but that's the reason this took me a while to finish. I will still be billing two hours to this, though, even though it took a bit longer.

Manhattan, New York

Tech guy: And then you hit CTRL+P to finish processing the claim.
Coworker: But it's not letting me CTRL+P. Why can't I control my p?

Victoria
Canadia

Temp #1: Are you drinking hot water?
Temp #2: With some lemon, yeah. Why?
Temp #1: Doesn't hot water make you have to crap?
Temp #2: What?
Temp #1: Hot water makes my grandmother have to crap.
Temp #2: What?

Nashville, Tennessee

Head honcho: We should get on a pooping schedule!
Unidentified underling: (laughs nervously)
Head honcho: It's time for you to poop!

Altoona, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: What's My Pee Telling Me?

Guy in stall #1: Hey, what’s up? Yeah, okay. You still wanna do that today?

Massive eruption occurs from next stall.

Guy in stall #2: Huh? Oh, that… I’m taking a shit right now…

Livermore, California

Overheard by: Stephen

Boss (in restroom): This is the only room in the building where I know what I'm doing anymore.

Washington, DC

Female coworker: That's it. I'm going to the store and get some tampons. I'm tired of stuffing toilet paper in me.

Charlottesville, Virginia

Co-worker: Does the whole building smell like urine? Or is it just my cube?

1601 Chestnut Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Male entering bathroom and noticing someone at urinal: I'm always running into the back of you in here.

Morgantown, West Virginia

Employee: I have to go to the restroom and grab a bite to eat.

1800 West Loop South
Houston, Texas