Employee, singing on the way down the hall: I need to change my tammmmmponnnnn
Coalinga, California
Employee, singing on the way down the hall: I need to change my tammmmmponnnnn
Coalinga, California
Crazy coworker, on saving money: You can live without toilet paper, because you could just use Kleenex instead, but you can't live without steak!
Collegeville, Pennsylvania
Manager leaving toilet stall, to next person in line: Don’t worry — I didn’t leave anything in there.
473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon
Employee on phone: My buddy just told me this story about how his wife was so drunk last weekend in a high-end club in the Hamptons, and she ran to the bathroom to puke but never fully made it to the toilet. On top of that, as she was puking everywhere, turns out she was also shitting herself. So now the whole club had to be closed down because it smelled like shit and puke. Isn’t that hysterical?
Boss walks in.
Employee to boss: Hey, do you know this club?
Boss: Yeah, I actually went there last Saturday night, but we left immediately because it smelled like shit and vomit.
60th Street & Madison Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: holding-it-in
Employee: I have “Holly Jolly Christmas” in my head, and it's all the bathroom's fault.
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: Meghan
(cell phone rings, CEO at urinal answers)
CEO: Hello? Yeah, hi. I'll be….
(another toilet flushes very loudly)
CEO: Guess where I am?
New Westminster, BC
Canadia
Overheard by: Knows the etiquette
Office peon #1: I think it might be a wobble.
Office peon #2: A wobble? On the toilet?!
Office peon #1: A wobble.
Office peon #2: Well, who's jumping up and down on it?
San Diego, California
Overheard by: No idea what they were talking about
Facilities manager to entire staff: And for the men in the office, please don't spit chew into the urinals, as it can clog the pipes and is very difficult to remove.
Engineer, joking: Oh, I see, single out the men. What about the girls?
Female QA manager, who actually chews: We don't spit, we swallow.
Boise, Idaho
Overheard by: testcenter cowboy
New chef: I gotta take a dump.
Waiter: There’s no toilet seat in the employee bathroom.
New chef: Dude, I just got out of jail after five years. I could shit in a pickle bucket in the middle of our dining room and it wouldn’t bother me.
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Male coworker: The first time I shit in school was in eleventh grade. It was during Chemistry, after gym class. It was on that day I became a man. Since then I’ll shit anywhere, basically.
1372 Broadway
New York, New York
Overheard by: ILmatic
