Cube rat #1: So tell me, Bob, you're a college basketball official. Which school in the Big 12 has the worst behaved students.?
Cube rat #2: Well, you would be surprised. It's Baylor.
Cube rat #1: Baylor is a Baptist college… You would think they would be better behaved. Cube rat #2: Well, they are just frustrated because they don't get any… (long pause) championships.
Greenville, Texas
Overheard by: Mike
Coworker on phone: He had two career ideas: one was to start an internet porn site, and the other was to become a priest.
Syracuse, New York
Catholic seminary library employee: Are you going to interview Jane's friend for the position?
Catholic seminary library supervisor: No, I decided she wasn't qualified enough.
Catholic seminary library employee: That's a relief.
Catholic seminary library supervisor, surprised: Why do you say that? Don't you like her?
Catholic seminary library employee: It's just that… Have you ever overheard any of their phone conversations?
Catholic seminary library supervisor: No.
Catholic seminary library employee: It's like they're in a competition over who has the most intense visions of the blessed Virgin Mary. We already get enough of that shit.
California
Overheard by: bless me for I have sinned
Manager #1: Do you think Christmas carols are appropriate for when the
prospective client comes in at 2?
Manager #2: What’s wrong with Christmas carols?
Manager #1: I just feel like it doesn’t represent us.
Manager #2: You’re asking the wrong person, because I love christmas carols.
Underling: Well, [the CEO] is the one who put this playlist on.
Manager #1 & #2: Oh, okay.
552 Broadway
New York, NY
Data entry worker #1: So I told her I need special glasses because of my stigmata.
Data entry worker #2: Your what?
Data entry worker #1: My stigmata.
Data entry worker #2: You have stigmata?
Data entry worker #1: Yeah.
Data entry worker #2: You suffer the wounds of Jesus?
Data entry worker #1: What?
Passing supervisor: She means her “astigmatism.”
Data entry worker #2: Like in my eyes.
Data entry worker #1: (laughs hysterically)
Bridgeton, Missouri
Overheard by: Ready for Jesus
Front office lady #1: “Abraham begot Isaac.” What does that mean?
Front office lady #2: It means Abraham is Isaac’s father -he had Isaac. It’s like “Adam knew Eve.” That means Adam banged her.
Front office lady #1: I don’t think you can say that.
Medical Office
Lincoln, Nebraska
VP in theological discussion: Hitler copied the Catholic Church, for Christ's sake!
Bank Street, Ottawa
Canadia
Overheard by: without
Male coworker: You should send the calls to the UK, since they'll be open tomorrow. They don't celebrate Thanksgiving. Who else will be working tomorrow?
Female coworker: Jewish people. No…wait, that's Christmas.
St. Paul, Minnesota
CSR #1: Everyone says that Jesus was on the bookshelf the whole time. But what if he wasn't on the bookshelf…
CSR #2: People will put Jesus wherever they want to put him.
CSR #1: Oh my god, that's so deep!
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Customer: I'm looking for the bible.
Shop assistant, typing into computer: Who's it by?
Bookshop
England
