Worker #1: German Shepherds used to terrorize the Congolese when the British were colonizing. That’s one of the reasons that the Congolese didn’t like George Foreman when he fought there.
Worker #2: Oh, I thought you were going to say that is why black people don’t like dogs.
Sears Tower
Chicago, Illinois
40-something office worker: I couldn't get a hold of my husband this morning, he's in China, but he's not black or a rich nerdy white guy, so I know he's not getting any while he's there.
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: eesh
Production manager: I'm going to kick some Chinese ass!
Entry woman: Knock their slanty eyes straight!
Essex, Maryland
Overheard by: NOT a racist
Executive: Where’s the resume I asked for? Where’s Bashir’s* resume? Goddammit, I can’t find that idiot’s resume. Stupid Indian.
Assistant: [Silent.]Executive: So anyways, have you been following this Don Imus thing?
420 Lexington Avenue
New York, New York
Worker #1: That guy last night was kind of weird.
Worker #2: He was like a black Urkel!
Worker #1: Right.
Wisconsin Dells, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Brush up on old sitcoms people
Black co-worker: You smell good; what are you wearing?
White co-worker: White Shoulders. I’ve worn it since I was sixteen.
Black co-worker: Do they make Black Shoulders?
White co-worker: Oh, we’ll let you wear the White. This is America!
175 South Third Street
Columbus, Ohio
CPR instructor: … And how do we tell if an infant isn’t breathing? He will flail around a little and will also turn blue or purple.
Black cop: Um, not trying to be an ass, but what if the baby is my color?
White cop: Oh yeah… That’s known as blurple.
CPR Class, Police Department
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Black coworker: You're German?
White coworker with German last name: Yes.
Black coworker: How long you been German?
White coworker: Uh…since I was born.
Black coworker: I thought you were white!
Manhattan
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Animal
Boss talking about movie Kiss Kiss Bang Bang: And he sees the body out of the corner of his eye just when you’re thinking that, and he turns and pees on it…
Female cube rat: We just had a seminar on our sexual harassment policy, and I am offended by that. I should report you.
Boss: Go ahead, I have pictures and emails.
Male cube rat: Do we have an official blackmail policy?
Black male cube rat: I take offense to that.
1771 N Street
Washington, DC
Overheard by: afraid to speak
White girl: So, what do you mean you guys don’t have stockings on Christmas?
Hispanic girl: Spanish people’s Christmas is more about expensive electronic gifts.
White girl: I just don’t understand — you also use all new decorations every year.
Hispanic girl: Yeah, we don’t really do tradition well.
White girl: Spanish people are weird.
Black girl: Yeah, well, white girls smell like potato chips.
789 Howard Avenue
New Haven, Connecticut
