Production manager: I'm going to kick some Chinese ass!
Entry woman: Knock their slanty eyes straight!
Essex, Maryland
Overheard by: NOT a racist
Production manager: I'm going to kick some Chinese ass!
Entry woman: Knock their slanty eyes straight!
Essex, Maryland
Overheard by: NOT a racist
Executive: Where’s the resume I asked for? Where’s Bashir’s* resume? Goddammit, I can’t find that idiot’s resume. Stupid Indian.
Assistant: [Silent.]Executive: So anyways, have you been following this Don Imus thing?
420 Lexington Avenue
New York, New York
Worker #1: That guy last night was kind of weird.
Worker #2: He was like a black Urkel!
Worker #1: Right.
Wisconsin Dells, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Brush up on old sitcoms people
Black co-worker: You smell good; what are you wearing?
White co-worker: White Shoulders. I’ve worn it since I was sixteen.
Black co-worker: Do they make Black Shoulders?
White co-worker: Oh, we’ll let you wear the White. This is America!
175 South Third Street
Columbus, Ohio
CPR instructor: … And how do we tell if an infant isn’t breathing? He will flail around a little and will also turn blue or purple.
Black cop: Um, not trying to be an ass, but what if the baby is my color?
White cop: Oh yeah… That’s known as blurple.
CPR Class, Police Department
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Black coworker: You're German?
White coworker with German last name: Yes.
Black coworker: How long you been German?
White coworker: Uh…since I was born.
Black coworker: I thought you were white!
Manhattan
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Animal
Boss talking about movie Kiss Kiss Bang Bang: And he sees the body out of the corner of his eye just when you’re thinking that, and he turns and pees on it…
Female cube rat: We just had a seminar on our sexual harassment policy, and I am offended by that. I should report you.
Boss: Go ahead, I have pictures and emails.
Male cube rat: Do we have an official blackmail policy?
Black male cube rat: I take offense to that.
1771 N Street
Washington, DC
Overheard by: afraid to speak
White girl: So, what do you mean you guys don’t have stockings on Christmas?
Hispanic girl: Spanish people’s Christmas is more about expensive electronic gifts.
White girl: I just don’t understand — you also use all new decorations every year.
Hispanic girl: Yeah, we don’t really do tradition well.
White girl: Spanish people are weird.
Black girl: Yeah, well, white girls smell like potato chips.
789 Howard Avenue
New Haven, Connecticut
Irate black secretary, getting off phone: Damn bill collectors, always asking for me by my full name. Know he didn't know me either, cause none of my friends call me Patricia, and he sounded white. Lord knows that I don't have any white friends.
One Penn Plaza, Manhattan
Overheard by: The white guy who thought he was a friend
Female co-worker #1: So, I watched this special on TV about how some people are born with two distinct sets of DNA. They had a guy on it that was half white and half black.
Female co-worker #2: Having one black nut and one white nut would be awesome.
Female co-worker #1: Um, yeah.
2600 McHale Court
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: John da peon
