General manager: Feeling better today?
Waitress, laughing: Oh, yes!
General manager: Why are you laughing?
Waitress: Oh, it’s nothing.
General manager: No, tell me!
Waitress: I can’t!
General manager: Is it girl stuff?
Waitress: No.
General manager: Well, then tell me!
Waitress: Ok. I’m feeling better because I got really fucking stoned last night.
General manager: Dopehead.
Beaumont, Texas
Male co-worker: I don’t understand why taking your baby on your lap in an airplane is such a bad idea.
Female co-worker: Dude, what if you crash? That can’t be safe.
Male co-worker: You’re right, I guess. Babies probably don’t make great flotation devices.
590 North Shore Drive
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Ashley
Co-Worker: You need to preheat your hooha. This is too much.
Intern: We’re still talking about the steaming the laundry, right?
Pickard Theater
Brunswick, Maine
Overheard by: grappling with zippers
Boss: Does anyone have any questions?
Employee asks involved question.
Boss: You know what? I have a million questions that you cannot answer.
Employee: But you asked if anyone had any questions.
Boss: Yeah, and if I asked if anyone had to go to the bathroom, I wouldn’t expect you to whip it out and take a whiz right here.
Stamford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Spacing Out
Travel agent: Where were you looking to take a cruise to?
Client: Do they have cruises to Las Vegas?
Proctor Street
Tacoma, Washington
Overheard by: potitia
Co-Worker #1: So is Mumbai, like, a country that we do business with?
Co-Worker #2: No, it’s a city! It used to be called Bombay before those imperialist American jerks finally pulled out and the native people got their land back.
Co-Worker #1: Oh. So it was Moscow that was the country I was thinking of?
Co-Worker #2: Probably.
323B 41st Avenue
Calgary, Canadia
Assistant: Do I need to do anything with this e-mail to Karen*?
Sales guy: No.
Assistant: Okay, I’m going to just drop it over into her folder and move on.
Sales guy: Okay, that’s up to you.
Assistant: I save everything.
Sales guy: I like to delete. If I know you’ve saved it, I just delete it.
Assistant: Yeah, but what if my computer bursts into flames? Or what if I quit?
Sales guy: You? Quit? [laughs]Assistant: You shouldn’t laugh…
Sales guy: Oh.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Executive assistant: Ooohh! Are you speaking Spanish or Mexican?
Hull, Quebec
Receptionist: Hello, Ruddman* Media International…Excuse me? A heat index? I’m sorry, I don’t know what you’re talking about…Ruddman Media International…No, no this is not the weather channel.
3 Park Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Why do I work here?
Boss: Wait, I have a question: they’re fucking retarded!
Underling: That’s actually not a question…
Boss: Whatever, they’re still fucking retards.
13546 Rockland Road
Lake Bluff, Illinois
Overheard by: Victa G
