Receptionist: Thank you for calling Widgets Inc.* How may I help you?
Customer: I got a letter from my insurance company telling me to fill out a paper with my social security number on it and send it to you. Who are you?
Receptionist: We work with the government to help you with your appeal.
Customer: Oh. So you won’t be selling my social security number to anybody in Nigeria?
Receptionist: No, sir, not today.
50 Square Drive
Rochester, New York
Overheard by: We’ll sell it tomorrow
Sales chick, holding sales order: How big is this part? Can it go UPS or does it need a skid?
Warehouse guy: Oh, no, that one is real small. It could fit up my nose.
Sales chick: Um… OK, moving on… They asked for this part a week ago, so I’m going to have it ship today instead of with their large order. Thanks!
Warehouse guy, sticking finger up his nose: Are you sure you don’t want to see how big it is?
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Blond barmaid: What’s in a whiskey and coke?
Pesto Café
Fayetteville, Arkansas
Overheard by: retired from the service industry
Girl: Hey, Pete*, are you feeling smart today?
Guy #1: Maybe, why?
Girl: Do you know if Korea is a separate country, or is it, like, part of China or Japan?
Guy #1: I have no idea. Why do you need to know?
Girl: I’m trying to look up UPS rates for Korea, but I can’t find Korea.
Guy #1: Troy*!
Guy #2: Yes?
Guy #1: Is Korea a separate country from China or Japan?
Guy #2: Yes.
Girl: OK, well, I can’t find it on the drop-down. Is it called something else?
Guy #2: Republic of Korea?
Girl: No.
Guy #2: South Korea?
Girl: Oh… OK, there it is!
Phoenix, Arizona
Grease monkey #1: That woman over there…
Grease monkey #2: Yeah?
Grease monkey #1: Is she deaf or something?
Grease monkey #2: Yeah, she’s deaf.
Grease monkey #1: But she looks just like any other woman, yo!
Jiffy Lube, Rosecrans Boulevard
San Diego, California
Overheard by: BigWig
Boss: How are your parents?
Worker #1: Fine, thanks for asking.
Worker #2: My parents are fine, too, thanks for asking!
Boss: I’m happy to hear that. When both of my parents were in the hospital at the same time, it was really hard on our whole family.
28th Street & 6th Avenue
New York, New York
Employee #1: Is this Sammy’s* or yours?
Employee #2: I think it’s Sammy’s.
Employee #1: I don’t want to shuffle everything off to him since he’s on vacation.
Employee #2: No, he’s not here… let’s screw him!
1400 Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: DB
Customer: Does this come in black?
Store clerk: Yes. [walks off]
Department store, Rockville Pike
Rockville, Maryland
Overheard by: Doctor Whom
Twentysomething new hire: Why is there a Harry Potter picture in our lobby?
Fortysomething manager: Actually that’s a painting of John Lennon.
Silicon Valley, California
Overheard by: Pop Culturally Literate
